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Should I use Network Solutions for ANYTHING?
No!
Ever?
For God's sake NO!!!!!
Not even for __________________
NO Goddamnit! NO!
"Network Malfunctions" (aka "Network Solutions") SUCKS!
Reality is what it is. Try to grasp it.
Eight MILLION (with an "M") Google results for "Network Solutions Sucks".
I think that means they suck.------------------------------------------------------------------------
I started using Network solutions as a domain name registrar in....what -- 1998? Something like that.
In the beginning, they were just your run of the mill sleazy, scammy domain registrar.
I think they were the ONLY one way back then. And they knew it.
They'd try to steer you in ANY direction except to do what you actually wanted to do on their website, all with the obvious intent of tricking you into spending money you didn't need to spend, nor want to spend.
Typical snatch and grab internet snowflakes with no thought whatsoever towards repeat business.
But then they got bad. I mean down in the dirt, vicious, mad-dog bad, and it eventually turned out that it was next to impossible to make even the tiniest of domain configuration changes on Network Solutions without finding that you had very unintentionally signed up for some "added service" that you explicitly, pointedly, adamantly did NOT want. You might have been ever so careful in reading ALL the fine print and checking the actual meaning of a button seven times before actually clicking -- and then, BAM! You were instantly signed up for some stupid bullshit you didn't want. It was planned, orchestrated and set up to make you buy things you DID. NOT. WANT. That became their business model and it was fucking putrid.
By about 2010 I had had enough and I began moving off, or expiring, my 140 or so domain names.
Truly. Enough was enough. Their prices had rocketed right through the roof. Their service went from shoddy to poor to bad to non-existent. Network Solutions became a complete and total write-off for any serious business. I can't even begin to imagine the mentality of the jackasses pulling the strings of ownership on that Ship Of Fools. When they go to a bar to have a beer or a drink, how long do they last before someone knocks their fucking teeth out?
In any case, as of 2021, I had one domain left. I had been hesitant to move it because I had stupidly paid for it over a decade in advance. But finally, the counterproductive business practices of these jerks became way too much to bear and I opted to move the domain. I decided to bite the bullet and lose that decade of prepayment.
Except that, when I actually started to do it, I found that I wouldn't lose a dime! All my registration payments would carry over to the new registrar! At last! AT LAST I could be free from these thieving mutherfuckers and by God I reveled in that. And mutherfuckers is exactly the appropriate word to use!
So I pulled the trigger and initiated the move.
It's dog-simple.
The Chinese can't do it but you can.
You unlock the domain so it CAN be moved and you request a move-code.
You wait a few days for Network Solutions to get off their dead asses and send you a code, which you then transmit to the new registrar, and all is well. The domain changes within about a week.
Done.
Whew.
Thank you sweet Jesus, my hero.
Except that this was NETWORK SOLUTIONS we're talking about, and there is no such thing as "easy".
I unlocked the domain.
I requested the code.
I received it.
I transmitted the code to the new registrar.
They received it.
The move was initiated.
Except it wasn't.
It spit back an error saying I couldn't move a domain I hadn't owned for at least 60 days.
I guess 22 YEARS was less than 60 days in the pea fucking brains of the Goddamned Ferengi at Network Solutions.
So, what do you do?
You contact them to DEMAND that they allow you to transfer your own property away from them.
Except you CAN'T contact them.
Because, well, you just can't.
Try it yourself and see what happens.
There is no way that I ever found to get past their little "knowledge bot" named "Neil", and speak to a live person. Yes, you can type in your problem and your inquiries 'till the aliens land and probe us all, but every single thing you type in will come back as "Not understood". Seriously. It doesn't matter what you type in. That's the response you'll get. Forever.
I tried 30 or 40 different variations of things like "problem moving domain" or "domain can't be moved". No luck whatsoever.
I finally went back to the new registrar and begged for help.
They said to reach out to ICANN.
I did so.
They came back and said the domain was locked.
WHAT?! I very specifically and carefully unlocked it, and got the little message in red type saying my domain was UNLOCKED and now vulnerable to being moved. Well, yes, in fact, that's exactly what I wanted -- to MOVE the fucking domain. So it WAS unlocked.
But now Network Solutions was telling ICANN it was locked.
There was no further mention of me not owning the domain for 60 days -- I think Network Solutions saw that that little ploy wasn't going to fly far, so they dropped it and started the "domain is locked" tack. Maybe, they thought, THAT would work, and would prevent me from moving my property away from their scammy, incompetent little claws. That's what they ALWAYS think, and they're ALWAYS wrong.
So I went back in and unlocked it AGAIN.
And took a screen-shot.
And tried to move it AGAIN.
And AGAIN it error-ed out saying my domain was locked.
I went back in and unlocked it AGAIN, and then, quick as a bunny, within literally ten seconds, I hit the transfer button on my new registrar's site and prayed.
I must have been a few milliseconds faster than the fuckheads at Network solutions, because this time the move successfully initiated.
This is, honestly, only the barest tip of the iceberg with regard to problems I've had with nearly ALL my domains through network Solutions. It was a never ending struggle to get anything to work correctly, or at all, and there was NO ONE to talk to.
I received confirmation today that my domain is now safe and out of the hands of Network Solutions. Forever. And since it was my last domain there, I wanted to cancel, delete, terminate and do a scorched earth on my Network Solutions account.
Maybe there's a way to do it.
I couldn't find it.
Below shows ONE OF my attempts.
I gave up and drafted a letter to ICANN again, and to the state attorney general for Network Solutions.
All I want is to delete my Network Solutions account forever.
There should be one button labeled exactly that.
It should take eleven seconds tops.
Yet it seemingly can't be done.
Network Solutions is world famous for precisely this kind of anti-customer bullshit. Google them.
I am now free of "Network Malfunctions" forever, and it's almost a champagne occasion.
It's rare that I encounter any business THIS obtuse, dishonest, slippery, scammy, or incompetent.
But Network Solutions is one I'll never forget.
This outfit should be banished from the Earth.
Are you entangled with these imbeciles now? Like the song says, do WHATEVER you have to do, and "get out the back, Jack, and set yourself free."
UPDATE: I have now found uncounted search results for others who have done exactly as I have -- they have jumped through all the hoops to get free of Network Solutions, but Network Solutions steadfastly refuses to delete, cancel, or in any way terminate their account. I think this is one for the Virginia Attorney general as follows:
Network Solutions
13861 Sunrise Valley Drive
Herndon, VA 20171
United States
PHONE: 1-703-668-4600Virginia Attorney General
202 North Ninth Street
Richmond, Virginia
United States
23219
PHONE: 1-(804)786-2071You should CC all complaints to the FTC Online as follows:
Federal Trade Commission (FTC) Fraud Reporting
And finally, file with ICANN, who ultimately pulls the strings on these people once and for all:
It's way past time for these miserable sons of bitches to go.
This was one attempt of several to get into Live chat mode with customer service at Network Solutions:
Hello! I am Neil the chat bot. I am here to ensure we get you the help you need.
Technical or Account SupportWhich option best describes the products you have questions about?
Account or Login HelpBilling InquiryDomain SupportHostingWebsite BuilderSSLGeneral SupportReturn to Main Menuhow to cancel accountCan you clarify what you mean by choosing an option belowterminate accountI'm sorry, but I did not understand your last message. Please select the option below that best matches your inquiry.delete accountPlease make one of the selections below:close accountPlease make one of the selections below:Update Account InformationPlease review the following knowledge article on your requested topic:
Update Account Information
Did the above suggestion meet your needs?Chat With Our TeamI want to cancel, terminate and close my network account forever. How can I do this? You make it difficult or impossibleCan you clarify what you mean by choosing an option belowAccount or Login HelpPlease make one of the selections below:Update Account InformationPlease review the following knowledge article on your requested topic:
Update Account Information
Did the above suggestion meet your needs?cancel accountCan you clarify what you mean by choosing an option belowAccount or Login HelpPlease make one of the selections below:delete accountPlease make one of the selections below:Chat With Our Teamdelete network solutions accountPlease make one of the selections below:Password ResetUpdate Account InformationChat With Our TeamReturn to Main Menu
Fuck Network Solutions, and I truly, truly mean that.