Adverse Possession
Eminent Domain
Washington State

An Editorial About Crown Hill's Dilemma

Mirror #1, Page One

Including problems with Goofy's Tavern (Sports bar)
on Crown Hill, Ballard (Seattle)

Home Page   Cease and Desist letter   Public records

Page One     Page Two

Synopsis: What is this page about?

We believe this is the most accurate portrayal of this mess, in existence.
This page includes our opinions, hunches, suspicions, and a number of hard, cold facts.

Question: Can someone come along and TAKE your property, under the complete protection of the law, simply because they decide they want to?

Yes. No. And maybe.

Cristina Dugoni, a local attorney (is there a single resident of Seattle who is NOT an "attorney"?), inherited what appears to be millions of dollars worth of property from her Grandmother. Dugoni was already well-off, as was her husband, yet another Seattle attorney and author of, we're told, some sort of sci-fi nonsense.

Two of the buildings Dugoni got were located on either side of Pizza Hut, on Crown Hill, Ballard, Seattle. The Hut property was completely separate, and was leased from an elderly woman in San Diego, and Dugoni had no power over it whatsoever. Her buildings were merely neighbors to it.

Dugoni's buildings had NO parking, and never have had. None. Not one space, except for a tiny area behind one of the buildings which was undeveloped and unusable, and which would provide space for one small car. Maybe. The ONLY parking in the area was controlled by Pizza Hut (through their lease). Due to this lack of parking, it was probably difficult for Dugoni to find businesses who wanted to rent these ramshackle little tenements, especially at the prices she demanded. So it appears that Dugoni began telling her tenants that the parking adjacent to their buildings was theirs to use [documented]. In FACT it was not-- it was Pizza Hut's. But Pizza Hut was WAY too nice and just allowed them to use it for many years, as long as the usage didn't infringe too dramatically on Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut still maintained it and towed some of the worst offenders, kept it placarded, paid taxes on it, etc. etc.. Tenants, past and present, tell us Dugoni began to actually allow for this parking in the leases she wrote out for various tenants. We've personally seen documents written and signed by Dugoni that seem to make this clear. She and her ancestors allowed and encouraged the tenants to use this parking that didn't belong to them, for as much as 15 years.

A family finally rented a space from Dugoni a couple of years ago and spent their life savings, literally, to install a nice little coffee shop called the Bizz Buzz Box. --Good, solid, honest to a fault, hard working local Ballard people. Dugoni promised them parking, in writing. We saw it. This family then applied for a city permit to operate, based on that written promise of parking. They HAD to show they had legal parking before the city would give them a permit. They did get the permit to open, based on Dugoni's promise of parking for their customers. But that parking was actually controlled by Pizza Hut. STILL Pizza Hut looked the other way. Pizza Hut is WAY nice, and were just trying to be good neighbors.

So one day, Dugoni apparently decided that she'd better actually OWN or at least CONTROL that parking if she was going to continue allocating it to her tenants. She went to Pizza Hut and asked them if they'd lease it or sell it to her. Pizza Hut VERY politely said no. Dugoni then reportedly made an ass of herself and stomped out of the office. Dugoni then went around telling people that Pizza Hut had been rude to her [documented]. It was about this time that Pizza Hut's "no parking" signs vanished from their parking areas. Within days Dugoni was telling people she was going to set Pizza Hut up for an adverse possession claim [documented], and actually TAKE (without payment of any kind) about half of their property, which included all this parking. To that end Cristina, personally, with her illustrious mother, posted signs on Pizza Hut's property stating that the parking there was owned by her and that all illegal parkers, including Pizza Hut's own customers and employee's, would be towed (see pictures below). You can imagine the uproar at Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut immediately began spending tens of thousands in attorney's fees to defend THEIR OWN PROPERTY, which lasted many months, during which time Dugoni continued to tell her tenants that the parking was theirs, and to pay no attention to Pizza Hut [documented].

During this period, the owners of the Bizz Buzz got very nervous. If Dugoni lost the fight to take over Pizza Hut's parking, they would lose their permit to operate. As it happened, of course, the ever-stupid Dugoni lost the fight (it wasn't even a gray area), and was forced to move her vehicles out of Pizza Hut's lot.

What transpired then was a virtual WAR in which Dugoni's tenants' customers (and often the tenants themselves) continued to park in Pizza Hut's lots, bad-mouthing Pizza Hut, calling Pizza Hut employees criminals, vandalizing the vehicles of Pizza Hut's employees and delivery drivers, in several cases actually assaulting and injuring Pizza Hut's employees. Hardly a day went by that these non-Pizza Hut customers, most of which came from Goofy's Beer-Boozing Road-House Beer Joint, but some of whom came from Taki's Greek Restaurant and the Swiss Bakery next door, didn't actually stomp into Pizza Hut during business hours, with patrons waiting there for their orders, and entered into some foul tirade about how Pizza Hut was a "criminal organization" because it was preventing Dugoni from using its parking. This is, after all, indicative of the radical, screeching, left-wing liberalist movement that has now permeated Western Washington. This continued for month after month after month, and to a lesser degree still occurs today, a year and a half later. I photographed some of it, video-taped some of it, and was actually victim of some of it as I stood guard over Pizza Hut employees as they were towing the illegal parkers. Suffice it to say Dugoni's tenants are some real prizes, yet Dugoni continues to renew their leases.

In the meantime the city got wind that the Bizz Buzz Box could no longer satisfy the requirements of their license to operate (technically couldn't from day-one), and the city shut them down. The Bizz Buzz moved out within a few days. The Bizz Buzz hired an incredibly stupid attorney in Ballard (Seattle is overflowing with them) (we'll post the name when we find it in our notes) and demanded repayment from Dugoni of their start-up costs, about $160,000. This utterly impotent, dumb-ass attorney negotiated with Dugoni for several days, and then announced to the Bizz Buzz that he had reached a great agreement with this woman, and the deal was that Dugoni would agree to let the Bizz Buzz out of their lease without having to pay through the end of the month. And..... And.... And nothing! That was it. Not a penny of compensation. That was his great agreement with Dugoni on behalf of the Bizz Buzz Box. He was fired instantly, and a new attorney brought in. I happened to personally know this new attorney, and while I generally liked him personally, I did not believe he had sufficient fire in his belly to go after an apparently prolific and determined shyster like Dugoni. I told the Bizz Buzz as much, but they apparently hired him anyway. To my knowledge, a year and a half later, the Bizz Buzz family has not collected a dime from Dugoni, and does not expect to (however I believe they are continuing to try to bring her up on criminal charges, a Holy Crusade I have decided, at just this exact moment, to help them with). Their life savings is gone. I've been told they are in danger of losing the Ballard home they raised their children in. And Dugoni, as usual, skips merrily away without, one presumes, a molecule of conscience because, we sincerely believe, she is a GODDAMNED SOCIOPATH.


The capper is that Dugoni wanted BADLY to control Pizza Hut's parking. So she simply bought the property Pizza Hut sits on from the elderly owner in San Diego, a woman who had no idea what kind of person Dugoni was, or what she was up to. We believe Dugoni then intended to take over Pizza Hut's parking. In an ironic twist, however, it turns out that Pizza Hut's lease with the original land owner, the elderly woman in San Diego, could not be broken, and Pizza Hut remains in full control of their own parking for at least ten more years (to around 2016) with no increase possible in Pizza Hut's lease payments to Dugoni. Dugoni must have just gotten her tiny red panties in a snit over this, and rumor has it she wrung her hands for MONTHS over the prospect that if she actually wanted to use the parking she now owned, she would actually have to pay Pizza Hut for it, as she or her ancestors should have been doing for the previous 15 or more years. Finally she relented, and now pays through the proverbial nose to Pizza Hut, an amount that almost negates Pizza Hut's lease payment back to her. Dugoni has now hired yet another attorney to try to shut this website down. Cristina Dugoni has done all this, and yet feels she has the right to prevent people from talking about it. THAT, I submit, is BALLS.

This web page is about RIGHT and WRONG. There are times when you simply MUST stand up, even if you are only standing up for other people, or even if you are only standing up for the concept of right and wrong. Since it is nearly impossible, in this world, or at least in this country, to actually obtain justice, the least we can do is talk about the possibility of it. If Dugoni thinks she can stop me from that, she's even dumber than I think, and I already think she's just about as rock-stupid as they come.

Let's see now, let's think about this from a shyster's point of view: if you don't want your neighbors to talk about your skullduggerous acts against them, what could you do? Oh! I know! DON'T COMMIT SKULLDUGGEROUS ACTS AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBORS! --Seems like a no-brainer, but if you haven't GOT a brain...well, you STILL ought to be able to figure it out!

Dugoni was advised in writing of this site the first day it was posted about a year and a half ago, and we've logged her accesses to this page all that time. She has not complained until now. I am ALWAYS willing and even eager to remove or modify text the very minute I'm informed that it is inaccurate. All Dugoni need have done is notify me or the website host of any concerns, and, if legitimate, the complaint would have been taken care of within a matter of hours. As it happens I can find NO inaccurate text in this web page. I am simply putting forth the information, along with my opinions of behavior of this type, and my own conclusions about Dugoni and her motivations, for anyone who wants to read it, or who has a need to read it and be informed. In most cases a web page of this sort becomes lengthy because the instigator keeps pulling stunt after stunt after stunt which just gets appended to the bottom of the page. Dugoni's hiring of an attorney to fight this page has accomplished two things: (1) it will serve to lengthen this page by at least a factor of two, and (2) she has now transformed this into a First Amendment issue -- something that tends to elicit far more public interest, attention and scrutiny than an obscure little page complaining about some backwater broad screwing over her tenants, which up to now has been read by the subject and just about no one else. Congrats, Cristina. You've stuck your foot in it once again. We submit that this woman will never change her morality, will never admit her mistakes, will never demonstrate the simple strength of character to apologize, and will never become one point smarter than she was the day she first told her first tenant they could use parking that didn't belong to them.

Dugoni's recent legal stunt has forced us to re-open our investigation into this and many other mysterious activities and events that have been reported to us in this fiasco. Too bad. We'd hoped to be about done with this issue. But as it happens we find ourselves with renewed interest in many issues, including just what happened to some very expensive machinery that belonged to one of Cristina's prior tenants That's probably as good a place to start as any. The actual owners of the goods still have the serial numbers for them -- perhaps a Seattle copy machine tech has, at some point, done some service on one or more of the missing devices, and will be willing to point the police to their whereabouts. You just never know. At the very least we can make sure this equipment ends up on the Seattle Police Hot-sheet. And perhaps, with luck, we can do even better than that. The original website is shown below:



This web page is written by an individual who frequents four of the five businesses in the Crown Hill area mentioned in this commentary; Taki's Greek Cafe, the Swedish Bakery, the BizzBuzzBox, and Pizza Hut. He does not patronize Goofy's Beer Bar (nor would we). We have allowed this page to be posted, free of charge, on this domain because we believe in the overall message--namely that the legislatures of most states, Washington being near the top of the list, are barking mad, and tend to allow, and even encourage, laws which are often, on the whole, as detrimental to the sanctity and well-being of the country and its populace as any terrorist movement in the history of America. This page does not, however, precisely reflect our opinions or policies. The accuracy of this page is the author's responsibility. This website is posted under the supervision of our First Amendment attorney. To say that we ferociously defend our right to voice our opinions, and the opinions of others, would be a colossal understatement.

This page represents, includes and
contains the opinions of the author

When a person spends a lifetime screwing-over others, it's only a matter of time before someone, somewhere, steps in front of them, stands up straight, and says, "No. More." How odd it is that so many people don't understand the inevitability of this.

Here's the original page, with all new developments being appended as they come to our attention, at the bottom. At some point we will need to split this into two or more pages:

Dugoni Map

Imagine this:

You come home from work dog-tired. It's late; it's raining; you pull into your driveway, only seconds from warmth and comfort. You click your garage door opener. The door rolls slowly upward. You start to pull forward---but WHAM! You're jerked to attention by another car in your garage! What in THE HELL is THIS? You assume, of course, that your spouse has invited someone to dinner and forgotten to tell you. You park in the driveway and go inside. You inquire. Your spouse meets you with a blank stare. Other car in the garage? You both go to look. You flip on the garage light and stare in wonderment at the vehicle sitting there dripping oil onto your clean concrete floor. Again you wonder, this time aloud, what in THE HELL!? After a moment of shock you walk around the seems familiar somehow. You've seen it....where? Then it hits you. You've seen it in front of your neighbor's house for the past four years. It's your neighbor's freaking car! You stomp back into the house, maybe grab a baseball bat, and head out the front door to confront your neighbor. As you pass the front of your house you notice a sign driven into your own front yard. It says: "This garage reserved exclusively for John Q. Smith. All other vehicles will be TOWED at OWNER'S EXPENSE".You know right away why your neighbor pulled this stunt. He's been threatening to do it for several years. He's bragged around town that he's going to do it. He needs to do it because in his own unlimited, unprecedented stupidity, he didn't bother to install his own driveway or garage. He didn't provide these things for himself because he wanted to use every square inch of his property for his house. Admittedly he was able to build a nice big house, but it always seemed kind of stupid to you that he hadn't allowed for a driveway and garage. Instead, he just kept eyeing yours. Well, your neighbor ain't too bright. And obviously he ain't too honest. You remember that you did let your neighbor use your garage sometimes in the past, just to be nice, but there was never any formal agreement between you to use it except occasionally, when other cars were parked in front of his house. You've always tried to be a decent neighbor. So why is this shit-bag pulling this? Give 'em an inch, and they'll always take a mile. At some point you get smart and stop giving folks an inch. You're now beyond apoplectic. You consider marching next door and when your neighbor answers, rearranging his dental work with the baseball bat. Then you hook onto his car with a chain and drag it bodily from your garage, out into the street. Then you imagine uprooting your neighbor's towing placard from your yard, taking it back to his house, and shoving it as far up his ass as you can get it. Your neighbor would get the message. The following night you are able to drive straight into your own garage, unmolested. Your neighbor decides to knock out one of his rooms and build his own garage---something he should have done in the first place, when he built or bought the house. And you and your neighbor live happily ever after.This is how someone might conduct business in a common-sense-oriented region. No such regions exist in the United States, except for areas of Alaska, the deep south, and along the Mexican border. And of course Idaho and Oregon. And Utah. Parts of New York. All of Maine, New Jersey, much of northern Minnesota and Wisconsin, Wyoming, Montana, and South Dakota. And the whole of Texas. But never, ever in Washington state. How on earth did your neighbor think he was going to be able to make a case for gaining ownership of YOUR GARAGE? He thought he was clever. He was going to try to make a claim for "adverse possession". Your neighbor also told all of his friends that he was going to use the "eminent domain" laws to take over your garage, but, as we've already seen, your neighbor ain't the brightest bulb in the string, and he has his terminology wrong. Eminent domain is generally reserved for governments. Governments use it when they want to steal your property. Individuals use "adverse possession" when they want to steal your property. Both actions have similarities. For this discussion we'll refer to adverse possession when describing the act of attempting to steal someone else's property. Adverse possession in Washington state is like this:Adverse possession means being legally granted the title to real estate by "possessing" it for a considerable time. The individual trying to claim adverse possession to land that someone else already owns must have actual possession of it that is open, notorious, exclusive and adverse to the claims of other persons to the title. Such possession must be total, exclusive, and cannot be hidden but must be open and notorious.

Such a claim would be a deed whose execution was defective or is in question. Another example is a claim arising from another person’s Last Will and Testament. Yet another common example is where two or more persons have received separate deeds to the same parcel of real estate. Washington state law also demands:...the duration of such possession is seven (7) [or 10 or 20] years. The person claiming title by adverse possession must pay taxes and assessments on real estate during the time of adverse possession. Washington Code §7.28.050-.090. Read more about adverse possession here. Revised Code of Washington (RCW) 7.28.070 defines adverse possession as “Every person in actual, open and notorious possession of lands or tenements under claim and color of title, made in good faith, and who shall for seven successive years continue in possession, and shall also during said time pay all taxes legally assessed on such lands or tenements, shall be held and adjudged to be the legal owner of said lands or tenements, to the extent and according to the purport of his or her paper title. All persons holding under such possession, by purchase, devise or descent, before said seven years shall have expired, and who shall continue such possession and continue to pay the taxes as aforesaid, so as to complete the possession and payment of taxes for the term aforesaid, shall be entitled to the benefit of this section.” What does all this mean? It means that if you are a thief, and you intentionally set out to steal someone else's property, the law may reward you for your efforts and give you clear and legal title to someone else's property. Is this intrinsically and basically wrong? Of course. Is this utterly and fundamentally in opposition to every notion of decency, fair play and right and wrong that we hold as Americans? Of course it is. Is it "legal? Oui to that too, as long as the shyster follows certain legal rules. Fill out the proper forms in this country and the concepts of basic right and wrong become mere inconveniences. No one knows this better than attorneys. Fortunately for those few honest, hard working citizens among us, the successful claim of adverse possession isn't nearly as easy as some local scum bags seem to think.

But consider this: The law states that a trespasser's claim to property must be adverse to the owner's interests. This means that in order for the land thief to have a chance of actually being awarded the land they seek to steal, they must be attempting to (and succeeding in) actually STEALING it from the rightful owner! If the wannabe land thief asks permission to use the property and is denied, the courts won't help him. If the land thief asks permission to use the land and is granted permission, the courts won't entertain a claim for adverse possession. In order for the courts to take the land from the rightful owner and give it to the land thief, the land thief must be acting illegally by trespassing on the land and by using it against the owner's will. The land thief must be sneakily STEALING the land before the courts will GIVE HIM the land. Who in God's name writes these laws? Drunks? Dopers? Pedophiles? All too often it's YES to all of the above! With a legislature like this, who needs terrorists! We're going to explore an example of an attempt to make a claim of adverse possession in Seattle, Washington. This case involves five businesses in the Crown Hill (Ballard) area of Seattle. Those businesses are:

Taki's Greek Food Cafe
The BizzBuzzBox Coffee House
The Swedish Bakery
Goofy's "Sports" Bar

Pizza Hut

All businesses are located in the 8500 block of 15th Ave. NW. All businesses are on the west side of the ave. All businesses are neighbors.The only available parking in the area is owned by Washington Mutual bank to the north, or by Pizza Hut to the south, situated in the middle of these four businesses. There is no. other. parking. Washington Mutual Bank has always aggressively protected its parking, as well they should---and as we're about to see, as well they must! The first four businesses in the list above have no parking associated with them, even though at least one of them was given parking (seven stalls) in a lease agreement from their common landlord:

SEATTLE, WA., 98112

Neither have any of these businesses ever had any legal parking associated with them in any recent memory. They have all apparently been operating based on what they were either verbally told "belonged" to them by their landlord, or which that landlord "virtually" (not in fact) provided for them by written lease agreement. If the landlord verbally told his/her tenants that they were entitled to parking, the landlord was either lying, or was so in error as to make his/her judgment suspect. If the landlord provided parking for any of these businesses by written lease agreement, it would seem s/he has either provided a dishonest lease, or is in breech of contract. The fact of the matter is that none of these businesses can be in business unless they have adequate parking. In truth they have, as of this writing (2004), NO parking, and never have had any legal parking in anyone's recent memory. As it happens, the Pizza Hut parcel does own an adequate supply of parking for its own uses. For some period of time Pizza Hut has apparently looked the other way with regard to allowing some patrons of the four affected businesses to occasionally use some of its parking. Unfortunately, this informal agreement was apparently not good enough for Cristina Dugoni. In the summer of 2004 she approached Pizza Hut to inquire if they might lease or sell her some of their parking. Pizza Hut, understandably, refused. One might imagine that Pizza Hut, or any business, would hope always to expand its business such that all available parking was needed. Who would give up parking space, which has become a precious commodity in any urban environment? Cristina lamented, in the vicinity of numerous people, that Pizza Hut was "rude" to her. She then also made numerous comments, in the vicinity of other people, that she intended to "get" Pizza Hut, and that she intended to take Pizza Hut's property (parking) by force; that she was committed to a premeditated program of setting Pizza Hut up for a claim of "adverse possession" regarding its parking area. I have proven to my own satisfaction that Pizza Hut was not rude to Cristina Dugoni in any way whatever. The situation was quite the opposite. Personally, I found these type of comments, and self-stated intentions (to which witnesses abound), to constitute nothing short of premeditated dishonesty. --Like a robber cases a bank, it seemed to me Cristina was casing Pizza Hut. From that point onward I regarded Cristina Dugoni as I would regard any common pick-pocket, any common apartment burglar, any common shoplifter, and God knows we don't need any more Wynona Riders in the world. If I were to allow this woman into my home, would I find her going through my drawers when I wasn't looking? Would she clean out my prescriptions from the medicine cabinet while she used my bathroom? Would she pilfer my wallet when I had my back turned? If she were my neighbor, would I have to worry about her stealing my lawnmower, my pets, my mail? If this woman were an employee, would I have to worry about her also stealing my trade secrets? My staplers? My office machinery? My clientele? With a sense of morality such as this woman has shown, where would she stop? What exactly does this woman consider dishonest? Nothing? Oh, I forgot---she's an attorney (and therefore exempt from morality). Would I have to be constantly on guard for fear she was going to try to sue me for this, or that, or whatever popped into her airy-blond head? If I owned a business this woman frequented, would I have to be concerned with her "accidentally" slipping on my floor and suing me for "unspecified back pain"? If I were in a fender-bender with this tart, would I suddenly find myself confronting a multi-million dollar "whiplash" claim? This woman is the epitome of why no one likes or trusts attorneys! This is what folks are talking about when they refer to "sleazy attorneys". This woman is exactly the reason books of "attorney jokes" sell so well! This woman is the very reason no one trusts the judicial system! I believe that I saw her intent to actually, physically TAKE someone else's property without paying for it as so basically, inherently WRONG as to personally have doubts about the woman's morality. I was appalled, disgusted and enraged. I don't like thieves any more than any other honest American likes thieves. In fact, I see it as the duty of any American to stop, thwart, or expose a thief no matter who they are, or where they're found. This used to be the philosophy of the vast majority of Americans. It's what built the country. I am now in the minority.

In mid March of 2005 this landlord apparently decided to remedy this situation, which is really nothing more than her own absurd oversight in not providing parking for her tenants, in what seems to be her usual ham-fisted, belligerent manner. Cristina posted signs all around Pizza Hut's owned and exclusive parking areas which stated: Parking for Taki's, the Biz Buz Box and the Swedish Bakery ONLY. All others will be TOWED. Too bad this woman couldn't even get the names of her tenants' businesses correct.

Upper left: misspelled "No Parking" sign posted by Cristina Dugoni and her mother over property she does not own and does not lease. Upper right: Pizza Hut's No Parking sign posted on and for their own property. Bottom: Pizza Hut's painted parking notice painted on their own property. Like mother like daughter. Can you imagine growing up in this family of snakes?

Upper: misspelled"No Parking" sign posted by Cristina Dugoni over property she does not own and does not lease. Bottom: Pizza Hut's painted parking notice painted on their own property.

Try to imagine---it's difficult if not impossible---but try to imagine the unmitigated gall of two women, a mother and daughter tag-team no less, who walk onto YOUR property and who post signs over YOUR parking area that say YOUR parking is exclusively reserved for THEIR businesses! No one can say these hags ain't got balls. But those aren't appropriate things for ladies to have. Somebody call Guinness! To say that everyone involved was shocked would be a gross understatement. This represented to me the absolute pinnacle of belligerence, of stupidity, of counter-productivity and dishonesty. I used to be in the business of putting criminals in jail. I have seldom, if ever, put someone away who was more obnoxious and arrogant than this. They might have committed more serious deeds against their fellow man---but at least they knew they were scum-bags. This was really something for the Guinness Book of Records. In fact, I think I'll submit it to them now.

It goes without saying that Pizza Hut's reaction was instantaneous. Here was an apparently crazy woman who was, in a calculated and premeditated manner, systematically attempting to TAKE Pizza Hut's property. I'm not privy to the language used by Pizza Hut's corporate staff as they discussed this development. I have no doubt it was colorful.

Pizza Hut immediately sent a cease and desist type letter to all businesses involved, and to Cristina. All businesses received their copies. A week later, Cristina seems not to have signed for her copy. A rumor persists that she feigned surprise at hearing such a letter was sent to her. My opinion is that while Cristina Dugoni may be of the same or even inferior moral quality to Wynona Ryder, she doesn't possess Wynona's talent as an actress, and to many people she is pretty readily identified for what she is: TROUBLE.

Pizza Hut's response was far more accommodating than I would have ever been. Pizza Hut allowed all affected businesses ten days of free parking, after which time all offending vehicles would be towed. I cannot imagine why Pizza Hut was so nice. Pizza Hut's rep(s) actually met with all of the affected businesses. Some businesses professed to understand the problem. Others may not have been so logical or understanding. In late March, 2005, Pizza Hut began placing polite notes under the wipers of offending vehicles, advising that if they continued to park illegally, they would be towed. This, of course, enraged all sorts of people who seem to think that it is "OK" for someone to come along and attempt to literally TAKE someone else's property. I can't help but wonder what all those complainers would do if the situation were reversed, and they came home one night to find their neighbor's car in their garage. Perhaps they'd tell that neighbor that they were indeed entitled to their garage, and they would then sign over the title to that portion of their home. Of course they would. That's what they're asking Pizza Hut to do, so we must assume that's what they'd be willing to do in the same circumstances. In fact, I'm tempted to take advantage of the extreme good will of those folks and drive my car over to their house right now, and park in their garage or in their driveway, and refuse to move, and then file a claim against them for adverse possession. I wonder where Taki lives? I wonder where the owners of the offending cars from Goofy's Tavern live? If someone would care to supply me their addresses, I'd like to immediately take advantage of their understanding and compassion, and move right on into their spare bedrooms. Why not? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to know what their objections would be! Seriously. Why not?

As it happened, Pizza Hut was compelled to bring in a contractor and re-stripe the parking areas, and also to install sign-posts through the asphalt to mark their own parking areas. Within two hours of this installation, patrons of Goofy's had literally ripped the posts out of the asphalt. I wonder....let's say that I drove over and physically occupied a portion of those idiots' lawns. In defense of their own property, they came out and posted Keep Out signs. Let's say that I then became so offended at their action that I jerked their signs out of their own yard and threw them onto their porches. I wonder what their reaction would be. I do know, that Goofy's staff knows, who the criminals are. Were I the owner of Pizza Hut I'd post a $1000 reward for the identity of the little mental cases and deal with them in such a way as to prevent further destruction of property. But alas, I have nothing to do with Pizza Hut, or any of the other businesses in the area. I'm just a guy who dislikes dishonesty, and thievery, and property destruction. I also dislike bullies. That's not true. I DO like bullies. I like them for breakfast. I'm sick to death of people trying to take advantage of other people. But I mostly dislike sneakiness and dishonor. And I'll fight it when and wherever I can. Having seen ten thousand situations like this in my long and active life, spanning most western states and three countries, my prediction is that Goofy's, which is in my view of the same mentality and caliber as the "Road House" Patrick Swayze movie, will continue to cause grief and trouble until they are physically stopped from doing so. Drunks don't generally respond to reason or logic or common sense. They respond only to force, whether of a physical or legal nature. So be it.

Goofy's Road House: blue and white signs were originally posted by Pizza Hut's towing company. "Goofy's Parking ONLY" is hand-written on the bottom of most placards. Might be interesting to match up the handwriting on the signs. I wonder who wrote them... I believe that the problems with angry parking offenders will continue because when some of the affected businesses have called Cristina to demand an explanation, Cristina has reportedly told them, "Oh, don't worry about that. It's ok to park there. We have that all under control. The parking area is virtually ours now. We'll own it shortly." [documented]. The businesses don't know WHAT to do, and they don't know what to tell their patrons. Consequently, they're not telling their customers to STOP PARKING THERE, and when the towing begins, the feathers will fly. Will Cristina be held morally responsible for assaults, injuries or fatalities? In my view, and in the view of probably most morally-inclined Americans, if Dugoni is not held personally accountable, she should be. Will she be held legally liable? Don't forget, this is Washington state. No one is ever liable here---unless the government decides on a whim you should be. But Cristina is "an attorney" (sort of), and so is her husband. Washington state LIKES slippery, sleazy, radical left-wing attorneys, and generally makes a fool of itself in protecting them. We just had one as Governor for God's sake!

Pizza Hut's signs, physically ripped from the pavement two hours after they were installed, by Goofy's patrons. What a fine crowd of beer boozing little shits. From my apartment overlooking the alley behind Goofy's, I cannot count the number of times I've watched drug deals, and fights, and sex acts, and drug parties, and pissing on the building and on the cars by males, squatting and pissing in the alley, in the bushes and between the cars by females until the whole area reeks of beer and piss. Goofy's is a real class act, and Dugoni just renewed their lease. I've been accosted in the alley behind Goofy's by wannabe bullies (which I confess I sort of enjoy). But others may NOT enjoy it, and so, as far as most folks in the area are concerned, Goofy's would be doing us all a favor if it simply moved to another neighborhood and bothered some other folks for awhile. I don't believe there's a more problematic business in all of Ballard.

Goofy's Beer-Boozer Road House. No community needs or wants businesses like this. Pizza Hut's hourly employees have already been subjected to stupid, belligerent patrons of the affected businesses, storming into their restaurant, yelling at employees that "Pizza Hut is engaged in criminal activity by not allowing them to park on Pizza Hut property", etc. etc. ad nauseam. I am constantly amazed, shocked and astounded at the low I.Q. demonstrated by some people. One jackass on Wednesday or Thursday confronted Pizza Hut's employees in the middle of a rush hour demanding that those employees stop "harassing" the other businesses (Pizza Hut's crime of harassment consisted of Pizza Hut's legal fight to retain control of its own frigging property). The Pizza Hut employees simply handed the man a corporate phone number so that he could air his concerns at a higher level. --So the man raised his voice again and told the employees over and over that "they'd be sorry if he did call the corporate number", and "what would they do then" (when he called corporate). No amount of reason or logic could help the man "get" that the hourly employees have less than nothing to do with the situation and that the employees WANTED the man to call the corporate number so he'd GO AWAY. He eventually did go away---and walked straight into Taki's Greek Cafe, where he was apparently well known. Still Pizza Hut has seen fit to give these folks a chance by not towing them for first offences. We're not aware of a single business in Seattle that does or would grant such compassion to such a collection of dirt-bags. Pizza Hut says it will begin towing offenders sometime after Easter. At that time I will not be surprised to see Pizza Hut's employees accosted or assaulted by patrons of Goofy's who seem to think they have some God-given right to use other people's property, and to throw little tantrums and inflict damage to that property when they are prevented from using it. I expect that Pizza Hut will end up spending thousands, if not tens of thousands, just to get this problem eventually stopped. What an incredible waste it will be, and as a result of what? --One woman's insane campaign to TAKE someone else's property. Even if Cristina were to ultimately prevail, which, I promise, she will not, I am reasonably sure that Pizza Hut, or any other company forced into the same position, will fight tooth and nail, hammer and tong, no matter the cost, to maintain THEIR OWN PROPERTY. If Pizza Hut were an individual, and short on funds, I'd pay their legal fees myself, just because I'm sick to death of shysters and con-artists. But even if Cristina were to ultimately prevail, the process will take years, and will not be pretty. In the meantime, Pizza Hut still owns its own property, Pizza Hut still won't allow Cristina or anyone else to steal it or use it for their own purposes, and those businesses Cristina has bamboozled are simply out of luck. It's too damned bad for those businesses. But let's put the blame where it lies. --Not with Pizza Hut, who MUST defend THEIR OWN PROPERTY, and not with Pizza Hut's hourly employees in the store, who have only a basic or cursory idea of what's even going on and sure as HELL didn't make the decision to do this, and not with any particular lessee of Cristina's, who are in the same sloppy bucket as all the rest of Cristina's victims, but on Cristina, who has so badly handled this situation as to make her just about the dumbest person I've ever heard of. End of rant.

Updates will appear below as the situation develops, IF it develops.

UPDATE 3-28-05:

More signs have been ripped from the pavement by Goofy's patrons. It may be time we organized some neighbors to bait these vandals in and deal with them.

UPDATE 3-30-05:

Another sign destroyed by Goofy's patrons.

UPDATE 4-6-05:

A number of interested parties have informally signed on to this cause. This page is now co-authored. The authors will be referred to as "we".

It has come to our attention that Cristina Dugoni has sent a letter to Pizza Hut's towing company, advising them to not tow any vehicles from Pizza Hut's property. Of course as long as Pizza Hut owns or leases said property, they still have the legal right to tow offending parkers, and we're assured they will. As long as Pizza Hut requests that offending vehicles be towed FROM ITS OWN PROPERTY, the towing company will be happy to oblige. One would have to be documentably, mentally retarded to think they could stop a land owner from removing trespassers from its own property simply because some greedy, obnoxious woman desired it. At this point we believe Cristina Dugoni is to some degree mentally handicapped. We do truly, wholeheartedly believe that. Let's say Cristina decided she wanted to park in Blockbuster's parking lot but she did not want to patronize Blockbuster's. Would she then be able to merely send a letter to Blockbuster's towing company, telling them (not even asking, but COMMANDING them) not to tow her (or anyone else) from Blockbuster's OWN LOT? Of course not. Such a tactic would be laughed off the table. No even marginally intelligent human being would even attempt such a stupid and ill-fated shenanigan. But it has been tried in this case. And of course it was laughed off the table. We do now feel that Cristina Dugoni should submit to psychological testing. We absolutely believe she should. If she doesn't willingly submit, we feel the courts should DIRECT her to submit. We can't help but wonder if she is an actual danger to those around her, or even to herself. In our view, no remotely rational being acts like she has thus far.

We understand (we're told) that some of the affected businesses (we're not sure who or how many) have decided to pool their resources to file a lawsuit against Cristina Dugoni for entering into at least two bogus leases. We now know that one of the businesses in question knew that the parking supplied to them by Cristina was not Cristina's to offer---this as of five years ago. We can only wonder why it took these businesses all this time to come to this decision. We feel that lawsuits should have been filed within hours of the discoveries. Even if Cristina magically pulls a rabbit out of the proverbial hat and produces parking where none exists, the affected businesses will still have a claim for lost revenue in the interim. It appears that Cristina Dugoni signed lease documents promising parking spaces she did not own and did not control under lease. We wholeheartedly believe that it can be PROVEN that Cristina knew she did not own or lease these parking areas when she promised their use to her tenants. We believe Cristina should be charged with a fraud-type offense, tried, convicted, and sent to jail. Further, it seems a portion of the lease payments her lessee's have been paying to her are to cover the parking these businesses believed they were receiving. If that's true, then Dugoni has been collecting funds all these years that should have been paid to Pizza Hut. We suggest that a figure be arrived at for the value of the parking, and that sum be paid to Pizza Hut, retroactively over the past five (or 15 or more) years. We would also suggest that the affected businesses come to terms with what has occurred here and stop dawdling--- Wilful, premeditated breech of contract is, we believe, in this case, pretty easily proven. Legal remedies are available. To the affected businesses we say: USE THEM. Now.

Problems from Goofy's drunks have been increasing. It has been suggested to us that the owner of Goofy's is "a nice guy" and doesn't deserve the bad press he's receiving. We say, "We're glad he's a nice guy." That doesn't change, however, the fact that his patrons are often criminals, that they are often the bane of the community, and that no one wants them around. We don't have friends who would run a business which would cater to the mentality of clientele Goofy's does. Why? Because we don't LIKE people like that in the first place, and even if we did, we'd be polite enough not to inflict them upon a decent community---we'd take our business enterprise elsewhere. We're glad Goofy's owner is "a nice guy". But he's still at the root of "the Goofy's problem".

UPDATE 4-7-05:

We're seeing some signs that the affected business owners are beginning to coalesce. Out of respect for the predicament these business people are in we won't as yet name them. We'd like to lay out the situation as we see it to date, in hopes of helping the business owners come to terms with the magnitude of the problem, so they can formulate whatever remedies they see fit.

The situation appears to us as follows, and we believe these "opinions" can be proven to the satisfaction of any court:

(1) We believe that if the TRUTH were known, Cristina Dugoni has known for years or decades, and she knows now, and she knew when she promised some of these businesses parking, that she owns no parking anywhere in the vicinity of these buildings, that she has never owned parking in this area, that she does not now, as of this writing, lease parking in this area, and never has. Therefore, when Cristina Dugoni promised parking to at least some of the businesses in their leases, we believe she lied. We believe she dishonestly prepared her leases; we believe she dishonestly offered them; we believe she dishonestly consummated them. We believe that as of this writing she collects payments that in part pay for parking that is not Cristina's to sell! My GOD what kind of child was this woman? There are laws to prevent this crap, but they can't be enforced until someone stands up straight and says, "Hey! Stop it!" And calls the police. It seems clear to us that Cristina Dugoni has screwed-over these businesses. Has Dugoni been CONVICTED of any fraud-type offense? Not to our knowledge, although we do have personal knowledge of a group of people who are, as of this writing, trying hard (as in exhausting their life-savings hard) to effect that very thing in the courts. Can a person be called a "criminal" even though they've not been convicted? Let's see: A "criminal" is a person who commits a "crime". The Green River Killer, for instance, committed forty some murders before he was "convicted" of them. It's a fact. Before he was formally convicted, was he a criminal? Of course he was, because he had COMMITTED THE CRIMES. He was a criminal the moment he committed the first murder. It so happens the courts weren't aware of the crimes for many years, but the crimes had still been committed, and the Green River Killer was the culprit, and so he was, in FACT, a criminal, even before he was convicted and judged BY A COURT to be a criminal. Criminal fraud-type issues are matters for the Seattle Police. Each affected business should, we believe, make copies of their leases and other documents relating to the promise of parking, prepare a simple statement attesting to their belief that Christina knew she had no parking to offer when she offered it and charged for it, and once those documents are prepared the business owners should simply call 911 and ask that an officer be dispatched to pick up their statements. An officer will arrive within one to two hours. The officer may or may not want to discuss the case further. The business owner should INSIST on being issued a case number then and there, so they can track the complaints through the system. Will Seattle PD actually investigate the case? Almost certainly not---not unless they are FORCED to do so, and two or three or four business owners can exert a lot of pressure even when the adversary is a sleazy attorney. Seattle PD has a long-standing documented history of "siding with the money". Assuming Seattle PD even refers the matter up to the City Attorney, will that office actually do its job and prosecute the case? Almost certainly not--unless it's FORCED to. The City Attorney's office also has a long-standing, documented history of "siding with the money". It's simply how this backwater region works. But it is still important for the business owners to document that they at least TRIED to follow procedures and seek legal remedies. If/when this comes to civil court, these business owners will want to be able to demonstrate that they at least asked law enforcement for help. And who knows---maybe some SPD detective or prosecuting attorney will have a private beef with Cristina and will pursue the matter. They won't do it merely because it's "the right thing to do" however. But even if they won't pursue it, the affected businesses can bypass the prosecuting attorney's office and file their own "citizen's complaint" using the "due process" laws of Washington. First though, we urge the affected businesses to simply call the police and see what happens. It appears to us as though a crime has been perpetrated against them. If they ARE lucky enough to gain a fraud-type conviction against Cristina, their civil suits against her are just about a shoe-in, because law enforcement will have already proven their case for them. The affected businesses then won't HAVE to prove their cases in a long and expensive civil trial---law enforcement will have done the hard work for them. Show up in civil court with a claim against a sleazy landlord for half a million bucks, with a conviction against the landlord already under your belts, and civil court becomes a much nicer place to be all of a sudden.


(2) We believe Cristina should be held liable for the greatly reduced revenue of all affected businesses. Most are down 50% or more, simply because their customers have no place to park. Some may only survive another couple of months. This is a situation Cristina should have taken into consideration DECADES ago and corrected. The only option she has, in our view, is to knock out one of the storefronts and convert it to parking. This should have been done within days of first laying eyes on the property when she first took it over way back when. ANY intelligent being would have LOOKED at the problem, REALIZED the only permanent solution, and simply IMPLEMENTED IT. This is the honorable option, as opposed to the dishonorable option of simply conniving to pilfer someone else's real estate. We feel all affected businesses should document their losses during this time, and add those losses to the other things they should be preparing to collect from Cristina, such as portions of their lease payments, and portions of their startup costs. And all of the costs they will incur in moving their businesses in the exceedingly likely event that Cristina does not prevail in her outrageous attempt to forcibly TAKE Pizza Hut's parking areas.

(3) We believe that Cristina may be so incredibly far over the line into the realm of breech of contract that all businesses should immediately consult with their attorneys to declare their leases null and void, and should begin paying their lease payments to a trust account, instead of to Cristina.

(4) We believe all affected businesses should pool their resources and hire a competent law firm to represent them collectively. Affected businesses relate to us that they are terrified of trying to bring action against Cristina because she is "an attorney", and they feel Cristina can bankrupt them in their attempt to gain justice. Even a city employee wholeheartedly agreed today with this assessment. And make no mistake---it's a valid concern. Given Cristina's track record to date, we believe everyone with a business in proximity to Dugoni's, should be in almost mortal financial fear of her and her shenanigans which, to us, seem absolutely over the proverbial top. Morality like this can ruin your businesses, it can bankrupt you-- we wonder just what else this woman IS capable of. Chances are if she's willing to do the things she already has, she's willing to do much, much more. Yes, in our view, anyone who comes up against her should be fearful. But there's safety in numbers. If all affected businesses would pool together, they'd stand a far better chance of coming out on top. We understand that at least one of the businesses simply isn't bright enough to grasp this concept. So be it. That business should be left to the wolves---er, the wolverine. The rest should put up a united front.

(5) Numerous attorneys have looked this case over. In some cases we've been present. ALL(!) have agreed that Cristina has not fulfilled a SINGLE requirement stipulated by Washington's adverse possession law. Washington law asks that the squatter pay all property taxes for the duration of the 7 years. Cristina has paid none. Washington law stipulates that the squatter occupy the land EXCLUSIVELY. Cristina has not occupied it at all. Her CUSTOMERS have---and only then occasionally, periodically, and with the express or implied permission of Pizza Hut as a good neighbor! Remember that adverse possession claims require that the claim be ADVERSE to the owner's interests. Cristina cannot demonstrate any exclusive OR adverse occupation of the property. Adverse possession claims usually require that (1) the squatter erect STRUCTURES on the disputed property, and that they (2) MAINTAIN the disputed property. Cristina has done neither---in fact only months ago she griped at Pizza Hut because it had not maintained ITS OWN LOT at ITS OWN EXPENSE to HER SATISFACTION!!! By GOD that takes gall! That REALLY takes Cahones! We've never, ever seen anything quite like it. Truly; we never have, and we aren't likely to again. It just boggles the mind. The long and the short of it is simple: Cristina can't win. She never could. Only an imbecile would think she might. The only possible hope Cristina has would be to somehow get in the good graces of the actual lessor of Pizza Hut's property, an elderly woman in San Diego upon whom the damned attorneys have now all descended like Flying Monkeys and Locusts---and Cristina can be thanked for THAT as well. But what good would even that do Cristina? Pizza Hut holds, we believe, a 25 year lease (note: now shown to be a ten year lease). They control the property for that or a similar period of time. And why would the owner in San Diego want to lose control and/or actual possession of her property anyway? The point we're working to make is this: This won't end well for Cristina OR for her poor victims, because ALL will be required to spend money they shouldn't be required to spend. Even if it did end well, it won't end soon. Even if by some fluke of flukes it DID end well AND soon, too much damage has been done already, too much has been wasted. All will remember what Dugoni did here and what she TRIED to pull. And they'll probably never forget. In the meantime the revenue of the affected businesses continues to decline.

It seems to us the businesses have two choices:

(1) They can continue on as they're doing, hoping against hope that Cristina will pull a rabbit out of her ass and solve the problem in the next few weeks. The only way that's going to happen is if someone throws Cristina a bone, and she has so obnoxiously alienated every single party she's come in contact with that we don't feel the odds of that happening are good. She seems to be stringing these businesses along, telling them to continue parking illegally, refusing to foot the towing bills---but urging folks to continue parking there anyway--- telling her victims she has it all under control, that at least the Goofy's side is "virtually hers already" (those are quotation marks), that no one should worry, etc. etc. ad nauseam until it makes us want to puke. So far, the businesses tend to want to believe her. And who wouldn't? Who wants to contemplate trying to take on a sleazy attorney in her own sleazy arena (the courtroom)? Who wants to contemplate trying to move an entire business? Who in the Hell needs this crap? Honestly, we don't even wish this kind of insanity on Goofy's. We all wish Goofy's would go away somewhere. Anywhere. But we don't wish them into this snake pit as a means of getting rid of them. We're afraid that the affected businesses are going to wait, and wait, losing revenue every day, hoping it will get better but of course it never will, until they are so weak that they can't even mount an assault against the woman who put them in this position. Were WE in their place, we'd have initiated a lawsuit within the first week. We'd have filed a criminal complaint in the second week. And perhaps by now Cristina would be softening up.

Or (2) the affected businesses can GET GOING and get on top of this thing and begin molding the outcome so that it's somewhat in their favor. We don't believe Cristina gives a DAMN. We don't believe for a nanosecond she has her lessee's best interests at heart. Sometimes you just have to get off your butt and stand up. It seems to us the time for that is now. We hear rumblings that the affected businesses would like to sub lease the parking areas directly from Pizza Hut. We do know that in the past Pizza Hut has expressly dismissed any suggestions of a sub lease. Some of the affected businesses seem to be wondering if they could approach Pizza Hut with this: --They would force Cristina into a position from which she had no other recourse but to agree, in writing, to abandon her insane claim against Pizza Hut, in exchange for Pizza Hut sub-leasing the parking areas directly to Cristina's victims. While we're privy to only "a few vague and unsubstantiated rumors" considering this case, we're not privy to what Pizza Hut might think of such an offer. It presumes, of course, that the affected businesses COULD back Cristina into such a corner, and that even if they did, Cristina would finally see the logic and be willing to legally cease and desist. It also presumes that even if all this occurred, Pizza Hut would want to give up ANY of its parking for ANY reason to ANY one. Contrary to popular folklore in this neighborhood, neither Pizza Hut or ANYONE ELSE "must" give up ANYTHING it owns simply because some nut-case woman wants it to! You wouldn't give up your living room simply because WE asked you to get the Hell out, would you? Of course not. No one can, or should be ABLE to force you to do that. And neither should the handful of illogical nut-cases in this area think Pizza Hut is under any more of an obligation to give up ITS OWN PROPERTY, any more than YOU would willingly give up YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM. Still, it can't hurt to approach Pizza Hut and say, "Hey, by the way, if we GET RID OF that damned witch, Cristina, once and for all, and if we can somehow GUARANTEE she'll never, ever put her stink on you again, would you be willing to lease us some parking so we can stay in business? Pizza Hut would say, "yes", "no", or "we'll think about it". What have the businesses to lose by asking?

Our hunch is Pizza Hut would refuse. A great deal of new traffic is coming to the Crown Hill in the next few years. Pizza Hut knows this as well as any other business in the area. Pizza Hut almost certainly has considered the possibilities of expanding their operation there. Why in the world would they choose to give up THEIR property so that some OTHER business could expand instead? It wouldn't be logical to do so. We do know that some of the affected businesses have, in the last few days, come up against something of a brick wall. The city requires that some of the businesses provide parking in order to qualify for the permits that allow them to be in business. We're still working on figuring out which businesses are affected---but it doesn't really matter. If only one is under the threat of having its license to operate YANKED out from under it, that's travesty enough. Once again, who do they thank? CRISTINA DUGONI! To Cristina Dugoni we would say this---we wouldn't ACTUALLY say it to her face as we don't believe we could keep from up-chucking were we to find ourselves in her vicinity---but if we'd taken our anti-nausea drugs and we met the woman on the sidewalk, we'd suggest that she:

(1) STOP. Stop what she's doing. She's only creating more ill will. She's only creating more havoc. She's only creating more enemies. She's only struggling to GUARANTEE that her victims sue her and win.

(2) APOLOGIZE. Cristina's victims will likely hate her forever no matter what she does. They'll never say it to her face, because the people in this region are basically wimps. But her disgusting stunts will remain in the minds of her victims until their dying days as a prime and unforgettable example of human cruelty and human stupidity. Still, it won't HURT to apologize. She won't mean it, because we don't believe this woman is CAPABLE of contrition, and her victims will know she doesn't mean it. But apologizing still almost never hurts.

(3) SOLVE THE PARKING PROBLEM. --Not by working overtime to GRAB other people's property without paying for it, but by doing what should have been done in the first place: By buying out one of the affected businesses and turning that space into HER OWN parking area, as it should always have been! Pizza Hut didn't build a building that stretched clear to the extreme edges of its property (or in Cristina's case, even onto Washington Mutual Bank's property (that's another disgusting story for another time--yet another fiasco we won't go into), and neither should Cristina have overbuilt. Pizza Hut didn't build its building right up to the property line because someone must have said, "Oh....Hmmmm....let's see....if we build right up to the property line, our customers won't have ANYWHERE TO PARK! Dang---we better leave some room for parking then!" We understand that Cristina didn't "build" these ramshackle tenements back in the 1920's (neither did she work for them when ownership came her way.) She "came into" them. Effortlessly. Indeed, lots of spoiled brats are merely handed lots of valuable things---and they usually ruin them. But the moment Cristina was given control of the buildings, she should have suffered the very same epiphany suffered by Pizza Hut's people, and said, "Hmmm.... Gee.... maybe I better PROVIDE SOME PARKING!" Instead, we might imagine that Cristina looked over the situation and said, "Hmmmm.....Gee.....maybe I'll just TAKE someone ELSE's parking instead!" And she embarked on the prickly path she's on today.

(4) REIMBURSE YOUR TENANTS. Cristina's tenants pay her for parking. Cristina promised them parking that was not hers to promise. Does THAT constitute fraud? Cristina's tenants, as of this writing, HAVE NO BLOODY PARKING! Those tenants should be reimbursed for all the years they paid Christina for a product she did not own and did not herself provide. Those tenants should then take their refunds and offer them to Pizza Hut to compensate for the inconvenience Pizza Hut has been put to. We'd be AMAZED if Pizza Hut accepted a single dollar. But it would be the HONORABLE thing to do, to offer. Cristina's victims are now in the slow, agonizing process of going broke. Cristina should reimburse them for lost revenue. If Cristina's victims can't be provided with parking, then they can't continue to be in business in their present locations, either financially or legally per city ordinances. Cristina should therefore BUY OUT those businesses which must move. This isn't rocket science. It's just common sense. These are the HONORABLE things to do. If Cristina were to do these things, the entire issue would evaporate in a week. Chances are extremely high that the courts will eventually make Cristina do all these things anyway, and perhaps more. So why not simply do the stand-up thing in the first place? Seriously---this is not a rhetorical question. WHY. NOT. DO. THE. RIGHT. THING? Just once! We've seen, so far, the incredible amount of stress and monetary loss and grief and anguish and wasted time a case like this can inflict on all of its victims, be they the landowner(s), the customers, the businesses. And what's transpired to date is likely a drop in the bucket with regard to what's to come in this case. It may be entertaining, for us, seeing as how we're not involved. But we assure you this isn't entertaining in the least to the victims. And someday we may unwittingly find ourselves involved with just such an individual as Cristina Dugoni. Lives are being changed here. Stress levels are skyrocketing. People's health is being sacrificed and documentably endangered. If someone dies as a result of a stroke or a heart attack due to this situation, we wonder if Cristina could find herself shouldering some of the liability in that case. We've watched cases go that way in the past. It could easily happen here. What if there was no Pizza Hut to act as a buffer zone in protecting the ownership rights of the elderly parcel owner living quietly (or trying to) in San Diego. We might assume that Cristina Dugoni would have found her easy prey, and through slippery and, in our view DISHONEST tactics might already have successfully wrested this woman's property away from her for no payment whatsoever. Bank accounts are being drained in this situation. Tempers are flaring. The very fabric and continuity of COMMERCE is being stalled and assaulted and diverted....and broken. And for what? Because, we believe, a greedy, stupid, and maybe even insane landlord has chosen to try to use LAWS to effect dastardly deeds on innocent people. Lawyers tend not to think about what's a moral and right course of action first; they tend to think only about what THEY WANT TO DO, absolutely irregardless of any morality or lack thereof, then look to see if there are any laws they can twist and corrupt and stretch and convolute and misrepresent and successfully subvert that will enable them to do it. Unscrupulous attorneys can take the slightest inference in any law and delude themselves into believing they can use some vague interpretation of that law to gain their own outrageous ends. They usually get away with it. Only sometimes they don't. But in either case the havoc they perpetuate is extreme, often life-changing, irresponsible, anti-social and disgusting. In this case Cristina Dugoni simply "decided" she wanted to try to take someone else's property. So she sniffed around the law library, and came up with "adverse possession". And she used it---or at least she's attempting to, even though the law wasn't even remotely written for this type of case. We submit that ALL of this could have been avoided if our legislature, and the legislatures of all states, would GET OFF THE CRACK and start taking a far closer look at the laws they both pass and allow to remain on the books, and stop leaving sharp knives lying around in law libraries for the Cristina Dugonis of the world to pick up and assault innocent citizens. The laws concerning adverse possession, even when used as intended, are NUTS. They INVITE criminals to steal. The Internet is rife with "how-to" courses, detailing how to trick, subvert and manipulate the adverse possession laws to STEAL SOMEONE ELSE'S PROPERTY, and to not only get away with it, but to be rewarded for it by the government! This. is. madness. Every single landowner in the country, in the world, will tell you it's madness, yet our government defends and perpetrates this madness. Think about it: Our government is saying that if you are sitting on the bus or in a restaurant or in a movie theater and some thieving son of a bitch comes along and puts his hand on your purse or in your wallet pocket, and if you don't notice it for X period of time, this thief can then simply TAKE your purse or your wallet, and if you then try to stop him or get the item back, the government will swoop down upon you, talons extended, and knock you aside, give your purse or wallet to the thief, and pat him on the back. The government's reasoning is that you didn't stop the thief in time, so you must not care about the property he's stealing---therefore the thief should have it. The law doesn't even require that you are AWARE of the thief's hand in your pocket. It only requires that he keep it there for some period of time before you notice it. This government fosters and encourages sneakiness and theft. It rewards it. The sneakier and more dishonest you are, the more likely you are to be awarded the very item you hope to steal. This is a precise analogy! This is EXACTLY what adverse possession laws do for real estate thieves. There is virtually no difference whatsoever. In regions of the world we've lived in, such a stunt would be met with a bullet to the head---and a bill to the surviving family for the bullet and the executioner's time and inconvenience. Yet in America our government REWARDS these thieves, it encourages them, and helps them, and protects them. It protects them FROM YOU! Welcome to Planet of the Apes. Cristina Dugoni has no more right to Pizza Hut's parking space, or to Washington Mutual Bank's parking space, or to QFC's parking space, than you, dear reader, have any legal or moral right to the closet space in your neighbor's home. It's just. that. simple. The point this website so diligently struggles to make in following this particularly disgusting case is that the root of the evil here lies at the feet of the legislatures. Consider this: If a parent leaves a loaded gun within reach of a juvenile delinquent, and that delinquent gets it and kills someone across the street, who"s responsible? The rotten kid, to be sure. But mostly THE PARENT. Similarly, if our government passes laws which allow dishonest, unscrupulous people to legally commit crimes, who's responsible? The unscrupulous adult, to be sure---but also the government who left the loaded gun on the coffee table. Stupid and morally bankrupt people believe that if the law allows it, it's "morally ok". Indeed, lawyers were TAUGHT THIS in law school! But nothing could be further from the truth. This is the thinking of the weak-minded and morally corrupt. Once again we put it to you this way: With a government like this, who needs terrorists? It's against the law for a terrorist to come along and blow up your property, but it's perfectly legal for your neighbor to come along and take it from you legally?! This kind of incompetence and malfeasance works quietly every single day to crack the country open from the inside out, to taint it, to chip away at the credibility of all government, to disgust us and cheat us and sour us and to create an environment in which 52% of the population can't even survive the illogic and chaos unless medicated by Zoloft or Prosac. It's ten thousand crazy laws like adverse possession which drive the population to apoplexy....and fear. In a sense it DOESN'T MATTER if Cristina wins or loses---the damage is being done right now, today, as we confer and type this page. The population must fear for its own property not only from the garden variety burglar, against whom the owner may someday enjoy some vague form of recourse, but from the government-sanctioned burglar who may not only steal your jewelry, but your whole house, and who is even protected by your government from prosecution for his crime! That cuts the carotid artery of the people's trust. It makes us fearful of government. It destroys our love of country. There are too many counter-productive laws on the books which allow the Cristina Dugonis of the world to terrorize their neighbors, to force their neighbors to live in constant fear of losing what they worked to attain, simply because someone else who doesn't give a flying **** about morality or that pesky, outdated American concept of good old fashioned RIGHT AND WRONG wants to own it without working to earn it. We used to call these folks criminals. Now we call them attorneys. By GOD we crave some logic, and some honor. Where oh where might we find it.

UPDATE 4-11-05:

We've located another witness who is willing (anxious) to testify that Cristina Dugoni was advised repeatedly and shown plot maps indicating that she did not own any of Pizza Hut's parking areas. --This was done long before Cristina formally leased those parking areas to at least two of her businesses. This brings to total three witnesses (so far) who will testify that Cristina KNEW she had no right whatever to sell parking spaces to her tenants. This should be plenty of witness testimony to entice the Seattle Police Department to look into the actions of Cristina Dugoni. Since we're not involved, WE can't file the complaints. It's up to the business owners. If they're unwilling to do so, then we would say that they deserve whatever they get at the hands of Cristina Dugoni and her ilk. We learned long ago to not care more than the people we're trying to help. If those people won't even TRY to stand up on their own and at least TRY to help themselves, there's nothing more we can do for them. We've also been informed through an unverified source that Pizza Hut's legal team has thoroughly digested the case and has decided that Cristina's claims are absolutely unfounded and that she has absolutely zero chance of winning any claim for Pizza Hut's property. This is as we surmised weeks ago---and, we believe, what Cristina SHOULD have surmised before she ever started this insane campaign. Cristina can still file motions and injunctions and suits and whatever, and cause all manner of chaos, hardship and ill will, and we have no doubt she'll do just that. But she cannot win. And since her claims are so incredibly feeble and baseless, she may well find herself liable for filing mischievous and frivolous causes in court. We would love to see this happen to her.

We are currently looking into allegations that some $40,000 to $70,000 worth of printing equipment vanished while in Cristina's care less than two years ago. That's the claim that has been made to us. It is UNVERIFIED at this time. But the victims seem sincere and are willing to testify to their experiences. Curiosity dictates we check it out and post the results of our findings here in future updates. Again, this is an unverified allegation---we'll say so if and when it's verified. Finally, it has been suggested to us again that this website is too hard on the staff and owner of Goofy's tavern. The people making these claims are honest, decent folks; they are sincere and believe wholeheartedly in their support and defense of the Goofy's staff and owner. Since two independent parties have been so adamant that we're giving Goofy's a bad rap, we feel we need to reassess our comments and clarify our opinions as follows: We do not know ANY of Goofy's employees, nor do we know Goofy's owner. Enough people have made claims to us to the effect that they are ALL good people that we're willing to take those assessments at face value. We don't know otherwise. What we DO know, however, is that, as stated previously in this website, the problems with Goofy's patrons abound. We're aware of numerous, even countless confrontations Goofy's patrons have had with other nearby business owners over parking rights. We do know that Goofy's turns out a veritable conveyor belt of belligerent drunks. The women squat and pee between the cars or in the alley, the men piss on other patrons cars, we've come across countless little impromptu pot parties in the alley behind Goofy's, we've watched fights back there, we've been accosted back there, we've seen how Goofy's patrons treat Pizza Hut employees---none of this stuff is made up, none of it is rumor. We've SEEN it, over and over through the years. Now it may well be a FACT that the staff and owner of Goofy's are just the nicest people on earth. It may be that they're fine, decent folks who just work hard and never cause anyone a fleck of trouble, that they're honest and kind and helpful and sociable and compassionate. That's dandy! But the fact remains that the people who are drawn to Goofy's as patrons are very often a PROBLEM to the surrounding businesses and community. But isn't this how ALL taverns are, you ask? NO! The surrounding community suffers virtually not at all at the hands of the patrons of the Crown Hill Pub for instance. Why? Because the owner(s) set a different kind of tone for the place. The loud mouths and belligerent types and trouble-makers who stumble into the Crown Hill Pub quickly learn it's "not their kind of place". So they stumble next door to Goofy's and find that it IS their kind of place. Every business acts as a kind of sieve. It strains out a certain strata of society. The Crown Hill Pub strains out and holds one type---Goofy's strains and holds another type. Goofy's owner and employees could CHOOSE to strain out a type of clientele that caused little or no trouble in the community. But they don't. We're heartened that the owner and employees of Goofy's are great people. We're willing to concede that as fact. But that still doesn't mean the community wants a business like Goofy's in its midst. Santa Claus (at least the one in our dreams) is also a real nice guy. We're not so sure about those freaking elves---we frankly think they're perverts. But the point is this: If Santa Claus came to town and opened a road-house bar which caused all sorts of problems in its vicinity, it might still hold true that Santa Claus was a "real nice guy". But that STILL wouldn't mean the community would want his rough and rowdy business in their neighborhood! This is all the concession we're willing to front to Goofy's owner and employees. Sorry---it's the best we can do. We're tired of the problems Goofy's produces. We all are. We'd all like a rest from it.

UPDATE 4-13-05:

At this moment we're informed two civil lawsuits are being formally initiated against Cristina Dugoni. We hope those plaintiffs continue forward with their suits, and actually file them and force them to run their courses. One of the affected businesses is now virtually bankrupt because of this parking issue. They have no money left. Dugoni, through little or no actual work of her own, has plenty of money. Who usually wins in these situations? The money ALWAYS wins, especially in this geographic region. It's unclear whether the mother will be named as co-defendant in any potential lawsuit. We're informed that two, possibly three police complaints are being filed against Cristina Dugoni. Again we hope that's actually carried out. Again it's unclear whether the mother will be named as co-defendant. All cases will be detailed as updates herein. Court documents will be posted by link from this page. If time allows we'll post court transcripts as well, assuming, of course, that anything actually ever makes it to court.

UPDATE 4-15-05:

We continue to take heat for our appraisal of Goofy's Tavern. Sorry---we're sticking with what we've said. On 4-14-05 yet another of Pizza Hut's signs was torn from the asphalt. We don't yet "know" who's responsible, but we'll give the reader three guesses and two don't count.

UPDATE 4-16-05:

There has been a tragic development in this saga. We've been asked not to report it until law enforcement has had an opportunity to assimilate the case. We feel it's significant to report that at no point has Cristina Dugoni approached the businesses we're aware of to apologize or to explain or to offer suggestions, remedies, prayers or condolences--- she has apparently utterly ignored the entire issue, while her tenants go quietly (or not so quietly) out of business. We call it the "head in the sand" syndrome. She has, however, continued to pester (documented) the most profoundly affected business for their rent payments ---this she does by mail, rather than to risk actually showing up in person. Good choice; the list of folks who'd like to give Cristina a piece of their mind is large. We know that the first of the week will bring a little slice of reality into Cristina's miserable life. We say, it couldn't happen soon enough, and it couldn't happen to a more appropriate person. Some folks wish Cristina Dugoni would fall off the edge of the Earth. But even if she did, she leaves a legacy to continue on, inflicting upon the decent world the morals their mother espouses---for Cristina Dugoni is Married...with Children. Oh, the horror....

UPDATE 4-19-05:

Two more Pizza Hut No Parking signs vandalized. Who's left with a motive? Let's see: Taki's doesn't need the parking, as he doesn't get enough business in the first place, and in the second place he's grand fathered in such that the city doesn't require that he have dedicated parking to operate. The Scandinavian Bakery never used parking that didn't belong to them (what a novel concept). The BizzBuzzBox has been shut down by the city, as they couldn't satisfy the city's requirement for parking, thanks to Cristina Dugoni's stupid, ham-fisted handling of the problem. So who does that leave with a motive to pull such childish, adolescent stunts? It leaves Goofy's---who else? We're honestly beginning to wonder if Goofy's patrons were hatched from the same primordial slime as Cristina Dugoni and her ilk. What in THE HELL is the matter with these people? (That's a rhetorical question). We wish Goofy's all the luck in the world in recovering monetary losses from Cristina Dugoni, because compensation is owed them in spades. We hope the information on this website helps them in some small way. But we're going to put things to Goofy's in this way regarding their patrons' ongoing vandalism: "It would not be in Goofy's best interests to allow this bullshit to continue." People are watching. People are angry. People are getting angrier every time this happens. People watch more closely every time this happens. There is a limit to what stand-up folks will take. Most of the neighborhood doesn't want people like Goofy's patrons here. It would not bode well for Goofy's to become the focal point of a neighborhood crusade. Goofy's CAN take steps to stop the vandalism. Goofy's CAN take more steps to stop the illegal parking. Goofy's can at least TRY to be a responsible member of this community. --Or not. If the latter, then Goofy's doesn't need to be IN this community.

UPDATE 4-19-05:

We've just now been supplied a great deal of information regarding this case, almost all of which we're choosing not to publicize at this time. The information supplied to us leads us to several conclusions. A few highlights include these: Cristina Dugoni's "official" position is STILL that she was NEVER aware that Pizza Hut's parking didn't belong to her. We call this an outright, bald-faced lie, easily proven in court. If lying is among the talents Cristina is teaching her children, God help the world. It also appears that Goofy's has scaled back its operating hours, presumably due to lack of business, which would certainly be due to lack of parking, which is certainly and documentably Cristina Dugoni's fault. It has also been suggested to us that Goofy's is planning NO retribution against Cristina Dugoni. We call this "poetic". We feel that if Goofy's hasn't the Cahones to demand what's due them, then what they'll get (nothing) is exactly what they deserve. This is precisely the attitude that empowers the skunks, thieves and shysters of the world, and incites them to more and greater deeds of evil. That almost no one will stand up to almost anyone else in this world anymore, is exactly the reason the world is in such pitiful shape. This case has now entered the phase where lies will be told, truths stretched, scenarios misrepresented. We're not going to follow the tit-for-tat, he-said, she-said nonsense that is certain to ensue prior to a formal trial. We'll wait, and watch, and strain out the BS over the next months, so as to document the protein of the case, instead of the chaos. It is clear to us that Cristina Dugoni intends to lie, and to ignore, and to wilfully misrepresent, and to struggle to bury in bullshit any and all facts, truths and logic put before a jury. We believe that certain parties now understand what her tactics will be, and are prepared to deal with her in a manner which will eventually bear fruit. We are told that Cristina Dugoni is STILL advising her (remaining) tenants not to worry about the parking situation, as she has the matter "well in hand". We're told that Cristina's tactic is to pester and harangue the poor elderly owner of Pizza Hut's parking area until the woman caves in and sells it to Cristina. We can only hope the beleaguered owner possesses a higher moral standard than to allow that to occur. We see this entire situation as one of the most disgusting and sickening examples of human behavior we have ever witnessed. In our view, dishonesty and dishonor at this level are rare. We do not believe that the Cristina Dugoni's of the world have any place in decent, honorable society. We do believe that people who act like this may be true sociopaths---utterly devoid of conscience and any semblance of any notion of morality. We do believe this absolutely. We also believe that people who are capable of this level of evil and who perpetuate these kinds of acts against their fellow human beings always, sooner or later, come up against an adversary which doesn't bother with courts or lawsuits or attorneys or websites. Our method of dealing with people who lie and cheat is to post websites to expose them so that other unsuspecting folks will have a "heads up" if and when they encounter them---it's either that or blow a gasket. It appears the methods of some of the affected businesses' of dealing with the skunks of the world are to file lawsuits. But we believe wholeheartedly that sooner or later, tomorrow, next year, a decade from now, the many of the world's shysters and con artists will meet up with persons or entities who will use more direct means to STOP THEM, and stop them COLD. But while decent society waits for this to occur, how many more lives will amoral people ruin? Answer: As many as they wish, and therein lies the tragedy. Remember that had our idiot legislators not passed and maintained laws which allow thieves to, under certain circumstances, legally steal other people's properties (through adverse possession), this case probably would never have occurred. Cristina would not have had any hope whatsoever of swiping Pizza Hut's property, and therefore, presumably, would not have attempted to do so. Thanks again be to our country's legislators. With a government like this, who needs bin Laden. We may refrain from updating this page for awhile. We'll simply allow the data to accumulate and post it when we've purged some of the anger from our systems. Although this page is an editorial, giving voice to our opinions, we'd still rather maintain a higher degree of objectivity than we're capable of putting forth at this time. We're actually finding ourselves sick to our stomachs at what this woman is attempting to pull off here. We're not even involved in this case---we're merely outraged and disgusted observers, and STILL we're at the limit of how much toxic waste we'll allow into our lives. As such, we're not willing to allow this woman's stench to make us ill. We need a break. But consider this: If Cristina Dugoni's foul deeds are affecting uninvolved observers to this extent, think how her evil must be disrupting the lives and health and well-being of the honest businesspersons who are so far utterly at Cristina's mercy. Their stress, their anger, hatred of this woman, their absolute, unshakable resolve to extract due compensation from Cristina no matter the cost is taking on a physical presence. We were sitting in a group this afternoon trying to remember when we had come across a more dishonorable entity. No one could remember having done so in their lives-- that is to say, none of the human beings we could think of who were/are more evil, in our views, than Cristina Dugoni, are either still alive, or are walking free, or are being actively pursued by law enforcement. We find it absolutely terrifying that this woman has produced children. We can only hope that someday they reject their mother's example and try to find truth and honor on their own. Will they? Not likely.

UPDATE 4-20-05:

This will be the last update to this website. We've discussed this matter at length this a.m., and have come to the conclusion that most of Cristina's victims are too willing to simply allow this woman to steam-roller them into submission (and bankruptcy). Rumor has it that Taki's Greek Cafe will be renting part of the old BizzBuzzBox space from Cristina. We feel Cristina probably promised that outfit all sorts of perks if they'd "be on her side". It looks like they've decided to do that. Someone should start a pool which struggles to predict how long it will be before Cristina screws them too. We hear Goofy's has no definitive action even in mind. Maybe Goofy's will decide differently at some later date. But the fact that they've allowed Cristina to get away with this kind of dishonest crap for even one lousy day tells us they (Goofy's) is going to deserve whatever they get-- another screwing. In short, we learned long ago that you can't care more than the people you try to help. We discover now that the two or more police complaints we were told had been or were about to be filed, have not been filed, and everyone stands around wringing their hands, discussing ad nauseam what's the best thing to do---without ever doing anything. That's exactly what the Cristina Dugoni's of the world count on. Shysters LOVE the apathetic. They can't exist without them. We almost find ourselves thinking that if the affected businesses can't even muster the character to stand up for what's theirs, then Cristina Dugoni may DESERVE to take it from them effortlessly. Criminal complaints and civil suits should have been, in our view, filed against Cristina by all affected businesses, not just one, within one week of learning they'd been screwed-over. It's now many months after the fact, and hand-wringing is the only action that's been taken by most. So be it. We've laid out the foundation of this case. We leave it to others to post their own web pages to air the continuing saga. Or not. If no one cares enough to even TELL THE STORY, then the people of this region deserve to live in fear of the Cristina Dugoni's in their midst. Perhaps the webmasters of this domain would post any new page that might spring up. Perhaps not. We thank them for posting ours. We have decided, frankly, that we don't want to live in a world of Cristina Dugonis. Nor do we want to live in a world of people who are too afraid, or too helpless and wimpy to stand up to the Cristina Dugonis around them. We've lived in areas of the world where the Cristina Dugonis are simply dealt with. We've discovered that we prefer that social structure. We are taking steps to leave the country, to return to a lifestyle where common sense and logic and at least a semblance of honor prevails. We are unable to find enough of those qualities in the people of America.

If the reader is curious about whatever happened in this case, we suggest you do a Google search for any of the involved parties and/or their businesses. If your search comes up with a result, perhaps you'll have the conclusion to the story. If your search comes up with no results, you'll know that the victims involved didn't even care enough about their own rights to tell their stories, let alone, perhaps, to fight for those rights. And if that's the case, this website was a waste of time, and the world should be given over forthwith and without even a cursory struggle to the crooks and thieves and liars and shysters and also all the Cristina Dugonis of the world, for they will be entitled to the spoils. We'll be happy and snug, as we've been in years past, in a little corner of the world where, for the most part, folks don't act like Christina Kapela Dugoni, because if they did they'd be dealt with instantly and efficiently because, amazingly, the good people there still out-number the bad. Are we going to tell you where that is? Not bloody likely. No further entries. 4-20-2005

UPDATE 4-26-05:

As noted in the above update, dated 4-20, we had intended to turn a blind eye to the remainder of this case. Unfortunately, Goofy's simply won't allow that. It seems Goofy's has ramped up its harassment of Pizza Hut employees who tag their customers' vehicles for towing. On Sunday evening, 4-24-05, a very large blue van parked not only in Pizza Hut's placarded parking area, but also directly against Pizza Hut's building. Not only that, this van took up two or three parking spaces, instead of just one. It clearly appeared that the driver had parked this way intentionally, so as to incite a problem with Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut employs NICE people. In fact, we'll say that some of them are far too nice for their own good. One of those nice people is an employee who, some weeks ago, took it upon herself to approach the staff at Goofy's and make a sort of informal deal. The deal was that, while Pizza Hut certainly had the right (and the obligation) to tow Goofy's customers without warning, and while Pizza Hut corporate was still being nice enough to allow offenders one written warning before towing them, this employee wanted to go one step further. She suggested to Goofy's that she would do as Pizza Hut asked and warn their customers once in writing, and she would ALSO refrain from towing them until she had physically walked over to Goofy's and allowed Goofy's the opportunity to make an announcement asking the offender to move. This is so far above and beyond the call of duty for this Pizza Hut employee that it's ridiculous. This is a service far too nice.

On Sunday evening, 4-24, the aforementioned large blue van parked in a ridiculous manner, obviously in the hope of starting a problem. The nice Pizza Hut employee happened to be on duty. She could have, and SHOULD have towed the vehicle on the spot. Instead, she walked over to Goofy's and endured a loud, obnoxious environment which, being a shy, reserved, extremely polite person, she loathes, and she nicely asked Goofy's to make an announcement to try to find the offending parker and thereby save him about $200 in towing fees. Goofy's did make the announcement, the driver was found, and he followed the Pizza Hut employee outside. As they were crossing the parking lot, this piece of human shit began insulting the Pizza Hut girl, calling her "Bitch" and a few other choice phrases, and as if that wasn't enough, he got in her face and began flipping her off. To say this ruined her evening would be a colossal understatement. It changed the way she views human beings, and it altered forever the way she'll interact with them. This is exactly, precisely the mentality we have, ourselves, been confronted with just about anytime we're in the vicinity of Goofy's Goddamned Road House Beer-Boozing Hell Hole. And now we're pissed.

Pizza Hut has apparently gleaned an insight into the mentality they're dealing with here, both in Cristina Dugoni, and Goofy's, and it appears they're taking steps to be somewhat more strict in protecting their rights and their property. We say it's long overdue. We predicted early-on in this document that Goofy's patrons would sooner or later incite some sort of situation which resulted in an assault of Pizza Hut's employees, or even their customers. It has nearly come to this point now. We feel the incident on Sunday evening was a knat's-hair from an actual physical assault on an extremely nice and courteous girl. We also believe that, sooner or later, if someone doesn't come down on Goofy's and their patrons, and come down hard, such a situation will result in a fatality. We've seen ten thousand of these sleazy beer-houses. The clientele is always the same. They're losers. They accost and insult a young women whose only thought was to be nice and decent and save the hairbag $200. These ain't people we want in this community. Goofy's isn't a business we want here because it caters to this mentality and has so far shown no effective efforts whatever to cull this kind of patron from their customer base. Indeed, if they DID cull this kind of customer, they'd have almost no customers left.. We've said all that before. We've said we don't WANT this kind of business here. What we're saying now is that Goofy's isn't a business we'll tolerate in this community. The difference in the two statements isn't subtle. We're going to file a public disclosure request and obtain all police complaints and/or responses related to Goofy's in the past four years. We'll post them here at the appropriate time. We're going to offer cash rewards to all tenants whose apartments overlook the alley behind Goofy's, for photos or videotape of the bullshit that regularly goes on, out of Goofy's back door. Several of the community have already expressed an interest in hanging around the area at night, to assure that innocent people aren't accosted by Goofy's arrogant, drunken shit-bags. We're arranging a mass-mailing to the entire Crown Hill community, pointing them to this website, and asking them to consider if this is the kind of business they want in their midst. We will work to establish a pattern of problems stemming from Goofy's, so that, in time, we can demonstrate to Seattle PD that Goofy's is a nuisance business and should be shut down. And that's before we're even warmed up. Goofy's isn't good for Pizza Hut. It's not good for ANY local business. It's not good for the children who live here. It's not good for property values. It's not good for our local crime statistics. It's not good for ANYTHING---except Goofy's owner(s) and staff. Unfortunately, their wishes and paychecks don't outweigh the good of the community. We're sick of this mentality. We're sick of Goofy's. We were willing to look the other way and stop posting to this website, but Goofy's simply won't allow it. This den of snakes has got to go.

UPDATE 5-2-05:

Pizza Hut parking lot full of Goofy's beer-boozing patrons, all flagged for towing.

UPDATE 5-10-05:

Yet another Goofy's customer towed on 5-10. What is it about "YOU WILL BE TOWED" that these people don't "get"? It's interesting to note that Cristina Dugoni recently renewed the Goofy's lease. Apparently this is the type of business Cristina Dugoni has no qualms about bringing into this community. We say: Cristina Dugoni / Goofy's: Two peas in a pod.

UPDATE 5-10-05:

We're informed that on Saturday evening, 5-7, Goofy's patrons filled the Pizza Hut parking lot entirely--to the point where Pizza Hut's own delivery drivers were forced to park in the alley. It appears the Pizza Hut employees on duty were unclear as to the towing policy and didn't clear the parking lot out. We're informed that this oversight has been corrected, and that Pizza Hut is increasing its efforts to tow offenders by an order of magnitude. We're informed that on 5-9 a Pizza Hut employee was approached by a Goofy's employee and asked when the parking situation would "return to normal". The reply was that it would never return to the previous state. The Goofy's employee then stomped away. We are fairly certain (read: positive) that every single Pizza Hut employee does not wish to talk to either Goofy's employees or patrons, that every single Pizza Hut employee does not wish to be harassed by, pestered by, or even approached by any employee or patron of Goofy's beer-bar. We wonder if it will eventually get to the point where Pizza Hut is forced to file a no-contact order against Goofy's. On 5-9 Pizza Hut was forced to tow a particular offending parker (a Goofy's patron), which had a "Firefighter" sticker in the back window. On 5-12 Pizza Hut was subjected to a surprise inspection by the local fire department. Coincidence? You be the judge. No infractions were found

UPDATE 5-12-05:

Rat Heaven
Image shows Goofy's own "Rat Haven".

Top arrow shows a home-made plywood "grease box" into which Goofy's deposits their used cooking grease and God-knows what else. It's an open-top container, covered in rotting grease inside and out. This aromatic slime-bin used to occupy one of Pizza Hut's parking stalls, until Pizza Hut made them move it. So what did Goofy's do? They moved it to the back of their building where it protrudes onto the public easement (alley) making it difficult for wider vehicles to get through, and probably impossible for large delivery trucks to get through. Indeed, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome seems to be alive and well in Goofy's management. Bottom arrow shows rat-traps that must surround Goofy's, every few feet, in a vain attempt to try to keep the rat problem in check. Let's see now---you place an open, reeking box full of rotting grease and bits of hamburger out in your alley, and then you can't understand why your building is overrun by rats the size of Raccoons. Suffice it to say the appropriate complaints have been filed with the appropriate agencies.

UPDATE 5-15-05:

We're informed that Pizza Hut personnel flagged a silver 4-Runner late last evening -- not for towing, but as a courtesy to warn the owner that next time they'd be towed. As the employee was leaving the note on the windshield a skinny male emerged from Goofy's and began calling the employee names and making threatening remarks of some kind. The employee simply called the police. Unfortunately the driver sped away westbound down 85 NW before police arrived. We have to wonder why Pizza Hut continues to try to be polite to this mentality. Just tow 'em! Every attempt Pizza Hut has made to be polite, to be compassionate, to post warning notices on offending vehicles, has been met with insults, threats, derision. At what point will Pizza Hut stop turning the other cheek? Apparently Pizza Hut did tow one or several vehicles later on in the evening, as we saw tow trucks coming and going through the lot. We're told that someone from Pizza Hut had a conversation with a group of people from Goofy's who were watching the tow truck(s) hook up to vehicles. It was reported to us that the onlookers were utterly incapable of grasping the concept of why they couldn't park on Pizza Hut property. When asked why Pizza Hut employees would not be welcome parking in their driveways at their homes, no one had a reply. If we had any connections to Pizza Hut, especially to upper management, we would suggest that the Goofy's mentality will never, ever grasp the concept of private property, and that sooner or later Goofy's patrons and/or employees will cause a problem in which someone ends up in jail, in the hospital, or worse. We would suggest to Pizza Hut that the only true solution to the problem is to bring in concrete barriers and block the parking areas in question. That would concretely (pun intended) solve the problem, and may well save someone some jail time. We feel that almost any business other than Goofy's could be taught or enticed to stop parking on private property. The mentality at Goofy's, however, will never, ever get it. If Pizza Hut wants to keep this mentality off its property, it will need to provide a physical barrier.

UPDATE 5-15-05:

It's clear at this point that Goofy's patrons (and probably management, staff and owner(s)) simply don't "get" why they are not allowed to utilize Pizza Hut's property as their own. Perhaps there's too much lead in the pipes at Goofy's and everyone is retarded. Perhaps it's a classic example of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (Goofy's patrons' parents were drunks, so they gave birth to stupid offspring). In any event the causes for this peculiar brand of stupidity don't matter. Once again, however, based on our own research, and not as a result of any communication with or from anyone connected to Pizza Hut, we're going to try, just for the record, to explain why Goofy's isn't welcome on Pizza Hut property.

(1) It. Is. Private. Property. Pizza Hut needs no more reason than that.

(2) In our view, a really nasty, dishonest, sneaky woman named Cristina Dugoni owns Goofy's building. For years Pizza Hut tried to be a good neighbor to Goofy's, even though Goofy's didn't reciprocate (documented). Pizza Hut looked the other way when Goofy's patrons parked on Pizza Hut property. Cristina Dugoni interpreted this (documented) as being a route to her actually gaining ownership of Pizza Hut's property without having to pay for it! Cristina Dugoni stated, in front of witnesses who are ready (read: eager) to testify, that she was going to "set Pizza Hut up" and then try to legally TAKE Pizza Hut's property by force using something called "adverse possession". Cristina was unsuccessful at this. But Pizza Hut probably realized that if it continued to allow Cristina and/or her businesses to use Pizza Hut's property, it could bolster any attempt to "legally steal" this real estate in the future. Therefore, Pizza Hut had absolutely no choice but to curtail all unwanted use of its property. It had absolutely no choice. In our view, angry patrons or owners of Goofy's or any other affected business should blame Cristina Dugoni, not Pizza Hut.

(3) Regardless of the Cristina Dugoni phenomenon, we believe Pizza Hut was sick and tired of the following problems caused by Goofy's: Cars screeching in and out all night; drunk drivers ramming Pizza Hut's employee's cars; men urinating in public on cars and buildings; women squatting and urinating next to their cars in Pizza Hut's parking areas because they were too lazy or too drunk to make it to Goofy's bathroom or home to their own bathrooms; fights between Goofy's patrons in Pizza Hut's parking areas; Goofy's drunks sleeping in their cars in Pizza Hut's parking lot; Goofy's drunks actually LIVING in their cars in Pizza Hut's parking lot for weeks at a time; litter and broken bottles in Pizza Hut's parking area; discarded food left by Goofy's patrons in Pizza Hut parking areas, which attracted rats (and still does) and which rotted and mixed with the urine to create a lovely and unique "Goofy's Aroma"; not having space for Pizza Hut's own customers, delivery drivers and other employees; the overall liability of having a business such as Goofy's using Pizza Hut property. We've probably left a few things out, but this is the gist of it. Goofy's and Cristina Dugoni have forced Pizza Hut's hand in this. Irate customers should direct their complaints to Cristina Dugoni, or to their fellow patrons, not to Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut put up with several hundred times as much abuse and bullshit at the hands of Goofy's and its hillbilly drunks as we ever would have. Pizza Hut has, over the years, bent over backwards to accommodate this road-house beer joint. But in every instance, Pizza Hut was shat upon by these people, with no end in sight. Pizza Hut simply had no choice but to take steps to end the problems and to protect the ownership of its own real estate. It's no more complicated than that. If the patrons and owners of Goofy's can't grasp these concepts, too bad. We suggest they make sure they have a few hundred bucks in their wallets and purses when they park on Pizza Hut property, because from what we're seeing, Pizza Hut has finally had enough.

We note that Goofy's patrons have begun parking in the QFC Supermarket lot across the street. We have made QFC aware of this website so that they may decide for themselves if they can afford the liability and the labor to clean up after Goofy's patrons.To reiterate: We believe Goofy's has a stupendously clear-cut legal claim against Cristina Dugoni. We believe Goofy's could and should sue this woman for all damages, and also file a complaint with SPD for renting Pizza Hut's property to her tenants when it wasn't hers to collect money for. We also hope that if Goofy's ever does sue this woman and win, they use that judgment to GO AWAY. Goofy's isn't wanted here.

UPDATE 5-16-05:

Just after midnight a Pizza Hut employee was flagging another offending parker when eight individuals from Goofy's approached the person and began insulting, berating, taunting and threatening the Pizza Hut employee. The employee ignored them and finished flagging the vehicle and returned to the restaurant. The Goofy's patrons came out a little while later and put their own towing notices on the windshields of Pizza Hut's own drivers which were parked not only in Pizza Hut's own parking area, but right against the Pizza Hut building! For the fiftieth time, Goofy's is not a business any community wants in its midst. We know that Goofy's owner and management could, if it so desired, curtail these problems. Goofy's owner obviously chooses not to do so. We herewith rescind any kind of forgiving comments we've made previously in this web page about Goofy's owner(s) and/or ownership. In our view, they're simply pieces of shit. We hear that boyfriends and husbands of some Pizza Hut female employees are beginning to urge their wives and girlfriends not to work there, as it seems clear that Pizza Hut's employees may well end up being victimized by this arrogant beer-boozing crowd of trouble-making punks. Solving this problem might mean physically barricading the problem areas, or it might mean hiring armed guards to take care of the parking areas. Pizza Hut employees cannot be expected to be police-men and -women against the mentality Goofy's patrons have exhibited. That's not their job description, and we're told off the record that several of them are actually afraid of this situation. Now think about this -- the actions of Goofy's patrons are so outrageous that Pizza Hut's own employees are afraid to Pizza Hut! That's wrong. We wish we could think of some way to formally "sign on" to this problem and bring some relief. Together we could probably afford to buy the building Goofy's is in---but Goofy's lease would remain in effect, so that's not a working solution in the short term. Perhaps we'll mount some web cams in the surrounding trees and stream the resulting video and sound to the world. --But we doubt Goofy's patrons are capable of being embarrassed into acting properly; these people are the scum of the earth. We'll just have to keep thinking...

UPDATE 6-6-05:

We've received information which convinces us the recent "surprise inspection" of Pizza Hut by the local fire house was in direct retaliation for Pizza Hut towing one of their people. We're going to go ahead and try to get a picture or videotape of that particular vehicle arriving or leaving the firehouse. Once a connection has been made, we'll run the plate, locate the owner, and advise them of this website. We'll also send it on to Seattle PD as a corruption complaint.

On this date a small black coupe parked illegally and the owner entered Goofy's. Pizza Hut posted a polite message on the vehicle. About two hours later the owner exited Goofy's, drunk, found the message, sneaked over to Pizza Hut, and placed it on the vehicle of one of Pizza Hut's delivery driver's cars---and broke the windshield wiper in the process. We say again: Goofy's patrons are the scum of the earth. We can't remember ever encountering a dumber, lower class of human being, anywhere, at any time, and that includes experience in all sorts of little hell holes along the Mexican border, and in other countries. One might expect to find dirty little snakes in the grass like this in the hills of Arkansas or the swamps of Mississippi--- we thought the caliber of human being was a little higher in Seattle. We're sick of watching the criminals who frequent Goofy's causing harm to Pizza Hut and its driver's vehicles. Pizza Hut's people are NICE KIDS who don't deserve this. We're going to begin videotaping the parking area. Any entertaining videotapes we record will be posted here, complete with license numbers and the home addresses of the registered owners. It's time everyone was afforded a glimpse of these cowardly little pieces of shit. We felt it was time QFC was made aware of this situation and letters were drafted to numerous businesses who might find themselves in this woman's path of potential destruction, warning them to be on the lookout for any similar attempts to take over their parking areas.

This video does not display in your browser. Click the link below.

All tagged and ready for the tow-truck.
Is Goofy's clientele retarded?

UPDATE 6-27-05:

This evening a white pickup parked illegally in Pizza Hut's lot. Instead of towing the idiot, Pizza Hut employees, in a once again misguided gesture of kindness, placed a polite note on the truck's windshield asking the man not to park there again. When this jackass emerged from Goofy's some time later, a gut full of beer, he took the note and ran at the Pizza Hut building, yelling obscenities, then threw the wadded up notice at the window. He then screeched out of the parking lot. We're going to try to begin getting some of these little beer-boozer hillbilly tantrums on video tape. But one really has to wonder why Pizza Hut continues to put up with this nonsense, and why it continues to try to treat these people (Goofy's clientele) decently. We can't help but wonder when Pizza Hut will finally declare it's had enough. We hear people remarking that these incidents are nothing a baseball bat wouldn't take care of.

UPDATE 7-4-05:

We knew the animals would be wild at Goofy's this evening (Fourth of July), so we staked out the Pizza Hut lot adjacent to Goofy's beer-haven. We counted 11 vehicles park in Pizza Hut's area, all of which emptied into Goofy's. Pizza Hut employees tagged most of them. They towed two. Of the eleven vehicles, 7 harassed, threatened and/or berated Pizza Hut employees. The other four didn't because they weren't confronted in person, but certainly would have been, had Pizza Hut people seen them pull in. We're convinced there's not a single decent human being who patronizes this snake den. One bald skin-head, after being asked politely by a Pizza Hut employee to move (to park elsewhere), went out into the street and found one of the little pink paper Pizza Hut No Parking notices that had been discarded by some previous drunk, and brought it back to Pizza Hut's back door. He just hung out there by the back door, looking around, shuffling his feet, not knocking, but folding the paper over and over in his hands. We figured he was going to try to break the glass and get in, and we watched him closely, ready to deal with it. A Pizza Hut employee spotted this jerk lurking at the door and opened it to ask him what he wanted. This conversation was at the extreme limit of our mic, but the gist of it was that he was accusing Pizza Hut of being responsible for littering, and he was promising to turn in a complaint against them. THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is the mentality that Goofy's caters to because THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is the mentality of Goofy's ownership, management and employees. Like attracts like. We had high hopes for our night-vision camcorder this evening, but it turned out to be junk at anything over about 20 feet. We're going to have to rig up a larger IR light source so we can begin documenting some of this bullshit on DV tape.

A number of conversations have been had with the elderly owner of the Crown Hill Pub building. He reports parking problems with Goofy's patrons that far exceed what Pizza Hut has been subjected to. --Mostly, we believe, because the man is elderly and frail, and poses no obvious threat to Goofy's patrons. We're sick to f-cking death of beer-boozing bullies, and we're going to offer to take care of this gentleman's parking problem free of charge. If he'll let us, we'll patrol his area and tow every drunken piece of arrogant shit on the spot. --No polite warnings like Pizza Hut so graciously offers, no grace periods, no nice notices. We're sick of this mentality polluting this neighborhood; threatening and intimidating local business owners, wrecking the family atmosphere of Crown Hill, and generally making folks (patrons of other local businesses) afraid to be here after dark.

UPDATE 7-20-05:

On this date we're aware of formal attempts being made by Cristina Dugoni to purchase Pizza Hut's property. The elderly owner in San Diego is actually entertaining offers --though we can't imagine what pressures, legal or otherwise, might have been brought to bear on the poor woman. Then again, we might begin to wonder at the morality of the San Diego owner for even CONSIDERING doing business with the Devil. We'll look up her address and post it here so readers may send her their opinions. In any case, Cristina certainly has the resources to pull this off---not that she ever worked for anything she has...

We submit that this further demonstrates the mentality of this woman. She seems intent on accomplishing with money what she could not with brains. The legalities "seem" to indicate that even if this sociological prize (Cristina) succeeds in buying the property, Pizza Hut's existing lease could not be broken until it expires in a year and a half. It is "probably" true that Cristina STILL would not control the parking until Pizza Hut's lease ran out---at which time there is absolutely no question in our minds that Cristina would begin screwing over Pizza Hut in such a way as to cause them to abandon this location. That's just how this woman is made. We truly have to wonder at the lack of morality at work here. Surely Cristina learned this crap from her mother. Perhaps we should go back and research the mother to see what a trail of destruction SHE has left in her wake. We've found postings across the Internet, made by Cristina, absolutely picking to pieces middle-of-the-road, gentle, very moral children's movies for the moral questionability of their content, yet in real life she acts like this. We've met a lot of people we've considered to be little or nothing short of evil. Cristina, in our view, tops them all. We're reminded of "J.R. Ewing" in the old Dallas TV series. Too bad about poor J.R.

Cristina has reportedly been trying to apologize and "suck up" to Pizza Hut during this attempted-purchase process, saying that she's "sorry" about the "whole parking misunderstanding", etc. etc. ad nauseam, until folks just about want to puke. One individual stated it was all he/she could do to keep from laughing in her face. Apparently this woman thinks that people she's interacting with in this fiasco don't see through her and don't know her for what she is--- a spoiled, amoral witch. We submit that Crown Hill would be a far happier, far safer, far more decent and wholesome community if the Cristina Dugoni's of the world would simply GO AWAY. But like a bad penny, this individual just keeps turning up. Crown Hill is by and large a Scandinavian community. Scandinavians are, by and large, a peaceful, logical, honorable people. When you do business with Scandinavians, you'll seldom, if ever, have a problem. They are, in our view, among the finest human beings on the planet. We are saddened that this little vulture-ess, this ignorant sociopath has insinuated herself into this neighborhood, and has caused such chaos, hatred, and havoc. Our most heartfelt wish is that she simply GO. AWAY. Cristina has insinuated that the "whole parking thing" was "not her fault at all", but merely the result of (quote) "bad advice from her attorney". Now let's analyze this for a moment:

(1) The "whole parking thing" was CRISTINA's concoction. No one else. We don't believe for a New York second that ANY attorney would have advised Cristina or anyone else to pursue an adverse possession claim in this instance. While we see attorneys as just about the most amoral people on the planet (law school convinced them that morality was an illusion---to be discarded and forgotten), and while most of them are dumb as boards, we simply don't believe it's possible for ANY attorney ANY WHERE to be SO stupid and SO crooked as to advise this woman to pursue an adverse possession claim based on the realities of the situation. This was, in our view, Cristina's evil deed from day one, and Cristina's deed alone, and everyone knows it. For her to think she could flippantly shift the blame with one or two off-handed remarks is yet another testament to her diminished mental capacity.


(2) Even if her attorney DID recommend to Cristina that she pursue such a claim against Pizza Hut, it is still HER RESPONSIBILITY to filter such advice through her own sense of right and wrong, and to act, or not act, accordingly. Since it is clear this woman does not POSSESS any sense of right and wrong, she must therefore be open to ANY suggestion. Let's say her attorney told her it would be financially beneficial to open a halfway house for pedophiles next door to a grade school. It would be up to the recipient of that advice to filter it through their own sense of right and wrong and to act according to that sense of morality. The normal, intelligent, well-adjusted individual would dismiss such advice instantaneously and fire the attorney post haste. That same individual, being the recipient of an attorney's advice to try to TAKE an entire chunk of real estate, would also immediately dismiss such a suggestion as WRONG, and would fire the attorney. Yet Cristina did neither. She apparently embraced the idea of snatching someone else's property, and absolutely ran with it in the most offensive and obnoxious manner imaginable. We have to wonder what her decision would be regarding the pedophile halfway house as well. This is NOT, we submit, a woman any community wants in its midst. She's a shark, trolling decent society for opportunities to attack the weak for her own financial gain; that is EXACTLY how we see her. Options include but are not limited to the following if Cristina Dugoni buys this property and manages to oust Pizza Hut: We may consider buying a "sign truck" and parking it on the public street in front of the Pizza Hut building; the sign would direct readers (potential lessees) to this website, so they'd know what kind of folks they were dealing with when they leased from Cristina or patronized the businesses who pay rent to Cristina. We'd simply pay some local kid to move the truck once every 72 hours to keep it from being towed by the city. The truck would remain for as long as Cristina and her heirs are alive. Or we could do a monthly mass-mailing to all of Crown Hill, reminding them of the mentality in their midst. We could do local TV spots, advertising this woman's antics and tactics, so that the rest of the region would know what they were dealing with BEFORE they began to interact with her. In short, there are lots and lots of options. People who lie and cheat deserve them all because the community has a RIGHT to be forewarned, and to thereby have the CHOICE of avoiding trouble.

UPDATE 8-12-05:

Cristina Dugoni has purchased Pizza Hut's property. Goofy's has negotiated, or is negotiating, with Emerald City Pizza (owner of the local Pizza Hut franchises) for the use of all parking spaces at the south end of Pizza Hut's lot.

So here's the net result of this entire fiasco:

(1) Cristina Dugoni has learned that she can bamboozle her tenants and suffer no punishment.

(2) Cristina Dugoni has learned that she can attempt to bamboozle neighboring businesses, and suffer no punishment.

(3) Pizza Hut's "family" atmosphere has taken a severe hit to the belly, because immediately upon regaining access to Pizza Hut's parking lot, the patrons of Goofy's beer joint will fall right back into prior patterns of drug use in that area, drug sales in that area, sex in the vehicles in that area, sleeping in cars in that area, living in cars for days or weeks at a time in that area, reckless driving in and out of the lot, broken bottles in that area, copious urinating in that area by males AND females, copious littering (including used condoms by the case) in that area, thefts of and from Pizza Hut's customers and employee's vehicles in that area, and a general, serious and obvious degradation of the block as a whole. Businesses like Goofy's contribute NOTHING to ANY community---they leach from it, subverting it for a few lousy bucks, until there's no more to get, then they move on. Cristina Dugoni has shown that Goofy's is the type of mentality she wishes to do business with and insert into what is otherwise a nice community. The [ex] owner of Pizza Hut's property, Tomika Thiry (San Diego), has shown that she is willing to help an absolutely scurrilous (in our view nothing short of evil) woman continue to ruin a neighborhood for the sake of a few bucks. Thanks, Tomika, the neighborhood really appreciates this! In the end we say, so be it. It's said that every people has the government it deserves. It can also be said that every neighborhood deserves the consequences of the slime-balls it allows to do business within it. If Crown Hill desires to be Capital Hill, we say Crown Hill SHOULD BECOME Capital Hill, and all that implies. Little by little, decent people will continue to move away from Crown Hill because they're sick of problems with businesses like Goofys and the mentality those businesses bring into the area. Society's hair-bags will continue to move in to the area, because they'll look around, smell the urine, see the rats, watch the sex in cars in the parking lot, hear the screeching tires of drunks blasting in and out of Pizza Hut's parking lot, and they'll subconsciously say, "Hey! This is MY kind of place!" And they'll stick.

We hear a rumor that Pizza Hut is already looking for a new building. Maybe Cristina can find a brothel to replace Pizza Hut, or a front for a drug operation, or maybe the building can be turned into an auto-body shop where stolen cars are parted and sold (chop-shop), or maybe she can put another strip-joint in there. None of these would be much of a divergence from Goofy's Piss and Beer House. We cannot remember encountering a human being who is, in our view, a more disgusting, disingenuous, dishonest, amoral, sneaky, two-faced individual than Cristina Dugoni in our lives. We hope to Hell her husband got an iron-clad pre-nup.

UPDATE 9-9-05:

About 10 P.M. this evening we received a call from a friend in the neighborhood who said he had a huge party problem on his block and wanted us to come over with our night-vision camcorder and document it for police. When we arrived we found about 25 people screaming at the tops of their lungs, running back and forth in the arterial street, stopping traffic purposely when they lined up in the street and refused to move, and accidentally when they fell down in the street, drunk. One male jackass simply lay in the gravel nearby, looking at the sky, and screamed for about 20-25 minutes non-stop. He must have one Hell of a set of lungs. Several of the women ran back and forth and leaped into the shrubbery of an adjacent home, destroying several manicured shrubs. We filmed as much as we could of this insanity, then the police were called. Forty minutes later, when they were called again by a second neighbor, they said they were too busy to respond. At about this point a dozen or so of these shit-heads broke from the main party and headed up the street, headed for who knows where. We followed them to see what they were up to, and where they were headed, as they were jumping onto and collapsing the hoods of parked cars as they walked along, and generally causing trouble in whatever way they could. Lo and behold, we followed them right into Goofy's Goddamned Beer Boozing Shit-House, where they stayed for an hour or so and got even drunker and wilder. Then they headed back through the neighborhood wreaking havoc as they went. At this point (around midnight) the cops called us back and asked if this group was still around. We told them where the group was and which way it was heading, and left them to it. We don't know if the police ever made contact with this group or not. This is yet another example, one of hundreds or thousands, of how businesses like Goofys slowly but surely erode the peace, sanctity and property values of any neighborhood they infiltrate. We submit that Goofys, directly and indirectly, does more to detract from the quality of the Crown Hill neighborhood than all other businesses here combined. And as soon as Pizza Hut leaves, Goofy's, courtesy of Cristina Dugoni, will have ample parking for their shit-hole customers, which will devalue the neighborhood even more. Thanks again, Cristina Dugoni. With landlords like you, who needs the mob?


1 A.M., this group is back in the neighborhood blowing an air-horn. Seriously. They're marching up and down the centers of the streets blowing an air horn. Would there be any point in calling the police? Was there any point in calling them previously? If someone were to stand outside Cristina's house at 1 A.M. and blow an air horn, on what moral grounds could she complain? Seriously -- how could Dugoni claim that SHE has the right to a good night's sleep while those who happen to live near her scurrilous businesses do not? This is not a rhetorical question! How would this woman justify this?

UPDATE 9-13-05:

Between 12:30 and 12:35 a.m. we watched a dark-colored smallish sedan pull up to the rear door of Goofy's with its lights off. The driver talked on a cell phone for a few seconds. An individual then came out the back door of Goofy's. A small, whitish plastic bag was passed to the driver and something was passed back to the person. We couldn't tell if it was money. Perhaps Goofy's is now a drive-up distributor. Thanks so much, Cristina. Goofy's is just what this neighborhood needs.

UPDATE 9-13-05, 16:50 hrs:

Pizza Hut employees asked a carload of Hispanics to take their booze party off of Pizza Hut property. They had been going in and out of Goofy's with open containers of beer, and generally partying around their car which was parked in Pizza Hut parking on the north wall of Goofy's. The Hispanics grumbled and were smart-assed, but finally left. Five minutes later they were back, doing exactly the same thing. They were asked to leave a second time; they simply ignored the Pizza Hut crew. As usual the police were called. At this point we had to leave to tend to other business and weren't able to view the outcome. Thank you, Cristina; these are the quality human beings we'd like to send to visit YOUR house and place of business. You don't mind, do you Cristina? Of course you don't.

UPDATE 11-2-05:

At 7:20 p.m. we watched as the Pizza Hut staff was forced to stop working and go outside, into the rain, to tag Goofy's customers who had filled every single parking space on the south side of Pizza Hut's lot. Every single space. The arrogance of Goofy's punks and drunks is absolutely staggering.

UPDATE 12-9-05:

Goofy's Beer Bin has finally coughed up the loot to PAY Pizza Hut for the parking they had been using for free for years -- Ditto the businesses to the north, including the Greek Cafe, and the Swedish Bakery. We're not sure who's paying what percentage -- certainly the infamous Cristina Dugoni has been pressured to pay some or all of the price, since the whole mess is unarguably her fault. And what is that price? $1600 per month ($100 per stall per month). Of course this signals the end of relative peace and quiet for Pizza Hut, it's employees and its customers, and heralds the beginning of the dark old days of drunks in the parking lot, reckless and drunk drivers screeching in and out all night, a ground-layer of used condoms throughout the lot, broken beer bottles, breaking beer bottles, drunken beer-boozers sleeping in their cars, fights, drug-dealing, light prostitution, dumped trash, rotting food and a hundred other nasty little benefits not to mention the rats this crap attracts, courtesy Goofy's Road House Scum Bags. There are many indicators suggesting that Pizza Hut will not renew their lease in roughly a year. We'll be surprised if they do. Who in their right mind would want to be at the mercy of a human being like Cristina Dugoni? --No one we've ever known. Pizza Hut's employees have suggested that they can only hope to simply endure the insanity in the parking lot until the business is moved. We wish them luck.

It's ironic, entertaining and heartening as Hell to make one last notation to this disgusting saga: This 8500 block of 15th Ave. NW stood to benefit greatly, maybe even stupendously, from the installation of the new Seattle Monorail project, which was engineered to terminate only a couple of hundred feet from the Pizza Hut lot and all of its lovely parking space. No doubt this was a major factor prompting Cristina Dugoni to first try to physically "absorb" Pizza Hut's parking, and later to admit defeat and pay through the proverbial nose to buy the Pizza Hut lot. Now, of course, the idiotic monorail project is no more, ruined and stomped into oblivion by one of the dumbest, most counter-productive city governments the world has ever seen. Consequently, Cristina Dugoni is stuck with a whole bunch of nothing. She has been unable to rent out her two business spaces at the north end of her little string of slums, and we doubt she can attract a stable, high-paying (read: gullible) tenant to replace Pizza Hut when the time comes. The Crown Hill area is a notoriously poor revenue producer, and no business with two brain cells to rub together would intentionally move into the area, especially without the prospect of a new monorail terminal, unless they had a specific inside track to a specific customer base that their accurate and reliable research has shown to exist in the area -- a customer base unknown to any other Crown Hill business.


Apparently there is to be no relief for Pizza Hut, from Goofy's. Perhaps not ever. Although Goofy's has begun paying (finally) for the parking it had been squatting on for years, and although Goofy's now has plenty of legal parking available to them, Goofy's customers have stepped up their illegal parking directly against the Pizza Hut building, filling stalls that are exclusively reserved for Pizza Hut's customers, drivers and other employees, even though these areas are prominently, conspicuously posted with large, new, shiny white signs stating that these areas are still specifically and exclusively reserved for Pizza Hut parking only. The parking problem in these last few remaining spaces has increased dramatically ever since Goofy's began paying for the other areas. Pizza Hut has now been forced to call in a contractor to post even more towing signs, and we're told that they will begin towing Goofy's patrons in earnest, with no grace period, no warning whatsoever. And isn't it about time! One has to wonder: What in God's name is the matter with Goofys? They finally have the parking they need, so instead of just being content with that, they once again set out to take it all! Give 'em and inch and they'll take a mile? This isn't a rhetorical question: What. Is. The. Matter. With. Goofys? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Or plain old premeditated meanness...

Update: 3-10-06

After weeks continuing problems with Goofy's patrons in Pizza Hut's parking areas, the situation came to a head around 21:20 this Friday evening when a vehicle drove into the lot and parked directly in Pizza Hut's own delivery driver's space, while three Pizza Hut employees stood not three feet from the vehicle, taking their mid-evening break! Reportedly, the driver exited the vehicle, made some derogatory comment about Pizza Hut, and began walking toward the front door of Goofys. At this point one of the Pizza Hut employees told the man he could not park in Pizza Hut's delivery-driver spots. The man then walked straight back to the Pizza Hut employee and attacked him. The fight lasted several minutes, and required the assistant of the two other employees to pull the Goofys patron off the Pizza Hut employee. The attacker then screeched off in his vehicle. The vehicle is described as:

Black Mercedes
(partial plate withheld for now)
Male driver
Possibly in his 40's
Grayish blond hair
Height: 5'9" -- 6'2"

180 Lbs.

Know the identity of this jackass? Contact Seattle PD. SPD is responding as we type this.
A conversation is reportedly being held with Pizza Hut upper management to try to find a way to address this continuing, and escalating problem. Even though Goofy's has procured all the parking it could possibly use, its patrons still act like this and positively insist on taking up what little parking Pizza Hut has left -- even when Goofy's has unused parking of its own! We know Dugoni is aware of every development in this matter, as we log her accesses to this page. It's a rhetorical question to ask why she won't control her tenants. We submit, again, for the record, that Goofys is a Road House environment, frequented by the scum of the f-cking earth. This is a business establishment that needs to go away. Why Pizza Hut continues to coddle these hair-bags is beyond everyone we've spoken to. The "Goofys Problem" is in our view a liability to Pizza Hut and Pizza Hut's family reputation, not to mention the entire neighborhood of Crown Hill. Goofys is now a proven danger to Pizza Hut and its employees. Why on God's Green Earth would Pizza Hut continue to handle this slimy beer-joint with kid gloves? We have no clue whatever, except to speculate that Pizza Hut is simply too decent for its own good. Pizza Hut has been nicer to Goofys by several orders of magnitude than Goofys has ever deserved, yet in repayment for Pizza Hut's extended kindness, Goofys continues to pummel Pizza Hut and the surrounding community with problems, and now outright assaults. We predicted some months ago that there would sooner or later occur a fatality in this parking lot due to the mentality of Goofy's patrons -- a type of low-life customer that Goofy's seems to actively seek out. This assault on Friday, 3-10-06, gives our prediction that much more credibility. When a fatality finally occurs, we'll post the obituary right here on this site. Will Cristina Dugoni share culpability in such a tragedy? We'll make damned sure the surviving family's attorneys get a copy of this website -- complete with a server log showing all the times Cristina has accessed it. As a defendant she can explain why she didn't rein in her scum-bag tavern. Wouldn't we all love to hear that.

Update: 3-13-06

The instigator of the above-referenced altercation has been calling Pizza Hut, complaining that since the incident occurred on Pizza Hut's property, he feels Pizza Hut is liable for damages. --Typical Seattle yuppie silly beer-head. Now let's get this straight: The man drives his car willingly onto Pizza Hut's property, and parked NOT in the spaces marked for Goofy's, but specifically and boldly in the spot marked "PIZZA HUT PARKING ONLY", while a Pizza Hut employee stood there and watched him! Then, when asked to move, he instantly became smart-mouth and insulting. There are two witnesses besides the Pizza Hut employee (victim) who state clearly that the Goofy's patron threw the first punch and initiated the fight, and consequently got his ass kicked. We're now told that Goofy's has a tape of the incident, captured on their security cam. And yet this piece of sh*t has the cotton-candy Cahones to pester Pizza Hut's hourly employees on Sunday, 3-12, with some sniveling story of how it's somehow Pizza Hut's fault. Seattle is, indeed, the land of the illogical, whining baby. It's clear this guy didn't learn one damned thing from his whupping. It's clear that what he needs is another one, every night of the week, until he learns some manners. There was a story many years ago which ran in "WASHINGTON" magazine. One incident in the article related how some folks from Alaska were returning home, through Sea-Tac, from a wedding in Oklahoma. The group found itself stuck in Sea-Tac for some number of hours, and while there, had the opportunity to observe a lot of helpless Seattlites. One of the men was finally overheard to say that he sure hoped his flight departed soon, because he didn't want to risk staying here (in western Washington) any longer than necessary for fear of starting to act like these people. We couldn't agree more. This is the wimpiest, silliest, whiniest, most limp-wristed and illogical society we've ever found ourselves stuck in. And we can't wait to go back home either.

Update: 5-13-06

2300 hrs approx. this evening, a male was shot in the alley within a few feet of Goofy's back door. This establishment has to go. Why won't Dugoni tell this business (Goofys) to straighten up or get out? Why?

Update 9-17-06, 1425 hrs

(This is 2:30 in the damned afternoon)
We were picking up a pizza. Two extremely drunk males departed Goofy's Beer Heaven and stumbled across the lot to the area where Pizza Hut's drivers' vehicles are parked. One was on the verge of requiring medical attention (he was barely conscious). Both were arguing, stumbling, falling onto the Pizza Hut drivers' cars. One fell to the ground several times. The Pizza Hut employees watched, apparently afraid to get involved, not sure at what point they should call police. Finally a nasty, rough-looking woman, perhaps a bartender or barmaid, came from Goofys and tried to get the situation under control, but neither male seemed to want to do anything except fall onto the drivers' vehicles and argue. We were angered, disgusted, repelled. We don't want to have to wade through insanity like this when we go to pick up a simple pizza in broad daylight in the middle of an otherwise pleasant and serene Sunday afternoon, and WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. The bartender eventually just gave up and left; the two males remained, one trying to drag the other away. We stood and watched the whole thing, rather hoping they would do some documentable damage so we could hold them for police. After roughly seven minutes the two males stumbled down the sidewalk and were gone. Once inside we asked the employees how often this occurs. They replied, "All the time, but it's way worse on Mondays." Mondays? Yes, they explained, it's football day (and for some reason the perfect excuse to get rolling drunk and make a fool of yourself, and to cause trouble for all in your vicinity). We're not going to launch into yet another tirade about what a scum-bag business is Goofys. Everyone already knows it. Goofys owner has had more than ample opportunity to clean the place up. He won't. It ain't gonna happen. Perhaps he's of this very same mentality and caliber and simply doesn't see the problem. Who knows. He's moot at this point. Everyone is embarrassed for and by this dirt-bag establishment. No one wants them in the area (except the beer-boozing, down-and-outer hairballs who frequent the place and all such places like it). We realize that people of this caliber must have SOMEWHERE to go, but that doesn't mean anyone wants them in OUR neighborhood. There are mechanisms in place in King County and in Seattle proper which allow neighborhoods to exorcize "nuisance businesses", of which we have no doubt Goofys legally qualifies, or would with more documentation. The question is, can we generate enough public interest and entice enough disgusted businesspeople in the Crown Hill (Ballard) area to jump through enough hoops to get this outfit officially and formally run out of Dodge? Perhaps more importantly, why should this neighborhood be put to the trouble of having to do this at all? We ALL have other things to do! Why can't the owner and/or the landlord clean the place up? Why WON'T they? On Friday and Saturday nights (and apparently Mondays as well) Goofys is back to its old antics of cars screeching in and out of the common Goofy/Pizza Hut parking lot. There's hardly any point at which some sort of outdoor drinking party (open containers galore), put on by Goofys patrons, isn't in full swing in the parking areas. We're now seeing little drug deals again on a regular basis. We see fights, arguments between drunks, bottle throwing, vandalism, drunks sleeping in cars, all the usual crap that we saw a year and two years ago. The anger and disgust over this bar accumulates. Little by little its neighbors get angrier and angrier. We wonder how long it will be before the area simply reaches its boiling point and runs these idiots out of town. Perhaps it hasn't happened yet because people simply aren't aware of the exact procedures for documenting and removing businesses of this type? Perhaps it's time we offered those solutions on this web page? We sure as Hell hope no one gets a notion to burn the place down! Seriously -- they no doubt have excellent insurance, and would likely profit from such an event, and would rebuild bigger and wilder than ever. Of course, one might argue that any DECENT, civically responsible or even marginally socially polite landlord (Read: Cristina Dugoni) would automatically monitor their tenants' businesses and take steps to cure the problems long before the neighborhood was forced to do it for them, but that presumes that any such landlord IS decent, responsible and polite, which, clearly, does not seem to be the case with this spiritual-reject, Dugoni. Stay tuned. This saga will continue as long as there's a Goofys! And probably as long as there's a Cristina Dugoni. We submit yet again: The world would be better off in virtually every conceivable way, without 'em, and we wish there was a way to legally relocate folks like this to Iraq, where they probably belong, and where, we're sure, they'd be far happier than they are here. We have only their happiness in mind.

Update: 10-5-06

It has been discovered that the Pizza Hut lease, through Cristina Dugoni, contains a clause or clauses which allow Pizza Hut to continue their lease, at their option, with NO increase in lease payments, for TEN MORE YEARS. We find this absolutely poetic. Since we are not, and this site is not, connected to Pizza Hut in any way, we have no idea if Pizza Hut will take advantage of this clause or not. Since this clause allows Pizza Hut to control the parking for that tenancy as well (i.e Goofys parking), it would be extremely surprising if Pizza Hut would give up that lease. If this area could only get rid of Goofys, it might become a wholesome little block in which families would feel safe in availing themselves of the several eating establishments close by. As it stands, however, with Seattle's utterly stupid smoking laws, one finds the sidewalk in front of Goofys to almost always contain a nasty little gang of drunks, driven to do their smoking outside the bar, due to Seattle's insane new ordinance that bans smoking in bars. This makes any travel up and down the sidewalk, especially at night, akin to "running the gauntlet". No family is going to try to walk through a crowd of rowdy, stupid drunks to get from or to the restaurants after having parked or after dining. Crown Hill thanks you again, Seattle City Council, you pudding-for-brains lower life forms.

Update: 10-7-06

20:15 hrs, a medium-light maroon SUV pulled in to Pizza Hut's exclusive parking space and a male, early twenties, maybe 5' 6-7" (Banty Rooster complex), very short hair, appeared to be a mix of just about all races (mutt) emerged from the vehicle. A Pizza Hut employee advised him that he could not park there. He spewed a string of four-letter words and ran off, into Goofys. During this time Pizza Hut was calling a tow truck. A few minutes later this little jackass came back to his vehicle and simply sat in it. Again, Pizza Hut employees advised him that he had to move (a tow truck was being called). Without further ado this cowardly piece of shit then spit directly into the face of one of the female Pizza Hut employees and told her he was going to "shoot her" (quotes), because he "wasn't from around here and he always shoots bitches like her". He then raced off, screeching out of Pizza Hut's parking lot and out into the street. He proceeded southbound on 15th Ave NW, then turned east on 85th NW. A partial plate was recorded. The police are en route to interview the witnesses at this time. Goofy's has disavowed any knowledge of the incident (surprise). No doubt Goofy's has security camera footage of this -- if they haven't hurriedly erased it, which is almost guaranteed. We made a prediction a year ago. We reiterate it here: A fatality WILL occur in this parking area, and the perpetrator WILL be a Goofy's patron. It's only a matter of time. Thanks again, Cristina Dugoni, you worthless pig of a woman. You are perhaps the greatest detriment to the Crown Hill neighborhood, in existence. Over the next weeks we're going to begin pulling up and posting the steps required to have a business officially labeled a nuisance. We'll then see if we can get that criteria applied to Goofys. Roadhouse beer joints really don't get much lower or more troublesome than this. We'll be posting a reward for the identity of this coward around the neighborhood. Sooner or later we'll find him. Note: When the police were told that this kind of thing was an ongoing problem with Goofys, they replied (quote), "That's not surprising, not surprising at all." They then shook their heads in disgust. In an off-the-record conversation with police we've come away with the solid impression that if the proper procedures were followed, SPD would be supportive of an effort to get Goofys officially branded a nuisance business, and that would open the door to a court order to simply shut it down. Of course Cristina Dugoni could do the socially responsible thing and close this roadhouse down herself, but we conclude that this is "her kind of people".

Update: 10-8-06 -- REWARD

A $100 reward is being offered for information leading to the identity and current whereabouts of the chicken-shit little wannabe gang-banger described above. We have no doubt that Goofy's employees do know this person, however Goofy's employees don't seem to show much of a penchant for standing up on their own little cloven hooves and making ANYTHING right because, of course, they are in our view of the very same ilk. We're confident, however, that one of their bleary-eyed beer drunks, always down on their luck and short of cash for the next slimy beer, will sooner or later want the C-note and will cough up this guy's address. Please contact:

Officer T. Hirjak, Seattle PD, North Precinct
Case # 06-426006

We have filed a freedom of information request for all of the police responses to Goofy's Roadhouse in the past 24 months. That's the first step in getting this rogue business declared a nuisance by the city, which will open the doors to getting its business license revoked by the city of Seattle. The reader may glean that this community is trying hard to do things "by the book" in this case. However, given that the very lives of our families, friends and co-workers in Crown Hill are in imminent peril simply because this beer joint won't voluntarily clean up their act, and their landlord won't force them to, the community reserves the right to protect ITSELF.


Seattle Police Department
P.O. Box 34986
Seattle, WA
                                                            Registered receipt # 21038555749163---

This letter covers two areas:

  1. It is a Freedom of Information Act request, and
  2. It brings to your attention a growing problem of criminal activity connected with the business named below, Goofy’s Tavern.

This issue is covered in some detail at the following website. We suggest that SPD bring itself up to date with regard to this business. We predict that a fatality will occur in the business or in its parking area sooner or later. You have now been formally advised of these problems.

You will consider this a formal demand pursuant to the Freedom of Information Act. Please provide us with a page count and price to cover reasonable secretarial and copies fees for the following information, and we will remit it immediately:We require copies of ALL incident reports and response reports that have been made in the past 24 months related directly or indirectly to Goofy’s Tavern, located at:

Goofy's Tavern
8519 15th NW
Seattle (Ballard), Washington

This information will be used in an attempt to have this business declared a “public nuisance” and its business and liquor license revoked. Feel free to redact any names or personal data you feel inclined to protect.



We have received our copy of the Seattle Police responses to Goofy's tavern, and it's a shocker. We'll post the transcript as time allows (probably early 2007).


We've received a letter from Dugoni's "attorney" lamenting this website. It has been turned over to our 1st Amendment attorney for a brief, formal response. We anticipate no changes to this site other than normal editing which goes on almost daily and has for years now. We'll post their unbelievably inept letter and their specific objections (which may be actionable in and of themselves) (and our reply) as time allows (probably in early 2007). It would appear that, rather than apologize to the community and to the affected businesses and to clean up some of the bullshit that her businesses inflict on this community, Dugoni would rather, as usual, attempt sleazy, stupid tricks and stunts to get her way. We submit that this latest tactic proves virtually every opinion we hold about this woman. Stay tuned; it could be that this website is about to begin receiving some of the publicity and recognition it deserves. We'd like to see the national media pick this up. Hannity and Colmes, you listening?


We noticed people sweeping up used condoms and broken beer bottles for the first time from the perimeter of Goofys today. Could it be a harbinger of tidy things to come? Naw....false alarm.



A group of about a dozen Goofy's boozers decided to play football in Pizza Hut's parking lot. All they actually accomplished was to repeatedly bounce a football off of Pizza Hut's satellite dish -- the dish they rely on for credit card processing, and the Hut's parking lot lights. As we were passing by, there were several Hut employees watching this fiasco, shaking their heads, apparently afraid to try to intervene. We asked them how often they put up with this; they replied "every week". We're now told that Pizza Hut management must ONCE AGAIN take action to (1) keep the drunks out of its parking lot, and (2) stop potentially damaging activities to its building. We're feeling more and more disconnected from this insanity of late, as we get nearer and nearer our departure date. We feel badly for Pizza Hut's employees who are stuck here, struggling with this madness every single day. But we certainly won't miss the Dugonis of the world who, in our view, contribute so enthusiastically to the down-side of Washington state -- indeed, to the down-side of morality and decency everywhere. We don't want to live in a region where the Dugonis of the world are tolerated to even the smallest degree. We won't live in a region like that. Thank God we don't have to.

Are there really societies in the world where basic morality is the rule instead of the exception?


Thirty years ago we were living in a remote region near the arctic circle (not in the U.S.). A girl, 20-ish, was visiting from a neighboring village, sleeping in the loft of a well-heated barn belonging to her friends. Also visiting, and planning to relocate to this village, and sleeping in a different portion of the barn, was a young man from the city. In the morning it was discovered that about $7 US was missing from the girl's purse (all the money she had in the world). There was really only one possible suspect. I was new to this village at the time, and had no expectations as to how it would be handled, if at all. Late that afternoon I was invited to show up at the barn about 10 p.m. This amount of time was required to contact all the homesteaders within a few miles. At 10 p.m. I did show up and was surprised to find about twenty to forty people in a large semi-circle around a hot pot-bellied stove in the middle of the barn. Many had lanterns, the rest had candles. There were no easily-obtainable radio transceivers in that region in those days, certainly no telephone, and electricity was barely dreamt of. The nearest "law enforcement" was days away by foot, or weeks away by boat -- assuming you could get through the ice. This was a community which governed itself and did a far better job of it than any American court system could ever hope to. A trial was held. While the man never admitted to taking the money it was clear through his demeanor and inability to explain certain things -- such as the exact amount the girl had lost in his pocket, that he did it. After due deliberation by the entire community he was found guilty. I then realized what the foul-smelling pot held on top of the big pot-belly stove: It was tar. The women then came forward and sacrificed several down pillows. The man was held, stripped, and tarred. There was some trouble getting the tar to stick because they'd been careful not to get it hot enough to actually burn. But it did stick and coated the man completely. Then the feathers were applied. The thief was given enough food to make the next village, and a blanket and shoes, and turned out into the snow and the darkness. The entire affair was carried out in as dignified a manner as any tarring and feathering could be carried out; there was no swearing, cursing, yelling-- not even raised voices. -No verbal berating of the accused. This was merely an unpleasant task the community was saddled with effecting, and so they did it as calmly and as professionally as possible. There was little chance of a bear eating the crook, stinky as he was, before he reached the next settlement, about 35 miles away, and since it was summer with night time temps in the forties, there was every reason to believe the thief, if he didn't dawdle, would reach the village before freezing to death. If he had frozen to death it would have been too bad, but still just "life in the North". I saw this guy a few months later in a neighboring village. He said he was sorry about the whole affair, said he should have never stolen the money, and said the punishment had turned his life around. Indeed, he was well accepted in his new community and seemed to be leading a wholesome life, and his hair had mostly grown back, though I thought I still detected a lingering whiff of tar. He chuckled about some of the persistent bare spots on his arms. I never saw him again. I took this entire proceeding in solemnly, and it required years to completely assimilate and understand fully. This small theft was probably the most egregious crime I ever heard of in my years in that community. There was a policy of zero-tolerance for dishonesty, the result being that people simply weren't dishonest. Can you imagine the punishment that community would mete out for the transgression of attempting to steal someone's land? I can't. Chances are those folks would spot a land-thief a mile away or in the first ten minutes and literally drive them from the community before they'd spent one night, thereby saving everyone from emptied purses and stolen costume jewelry. America, conversely, the "land of attorneys", has become what it has through the laziness and stupidity of its population and through the greed, amorality, incompetence and stupidity of its lawyers. Each and every American is directly responsible for the quality of his community. If this, a place where folks can simply TAKE your land or even attempt to and not raise more than a few dozen eyebrows, is the quality of community that Seattle and the rest of the nation wants, then it's exactly what they should have. If Americans want better -- Hell, if they merely want what they used to have, they'd better start standing up and effecting a few figurative tar-and-featherings of the crooks amongst them. As it stands, the crooks aren't really being sent a signal, and crooks, by their very nature, are ever-famous for accepting the lack of a NO as a YES..


Our 1st Amendment attorney has finished reviewing this site and refuses to acknowledge Dugoni's attorneys' complaints, stating that they are too "bogus" to dignify with a formal response. A message has been suggested for Dugoni's attorneys, posted publicly. We'll post that here as time allows.


We're going to simply paste in the suggested note from our attorney to Dugoni's attorney, as follows:

Note to Attorneys: My first amendment attorney reviewed your complaints and determined that they were generally bogus. However, I have made a few changes just because it is important to broadcast my opinions to the public without interference through the abuse of court process to silence me. If you have further concerns [which are of a legitimate nature], write again to my ISP and my attorney and I will review them.

Has Dugoni's stupid tactic of late renewed our interest in getting to the bottom of this and in bringing it to a legal conclusion? To say yes would be the understatement of the century. Again we make this point, a point so dog-simple that most human beings learn it by about age five: If you don't want your neighbors to talk about your dastardly deeds, DON'T COMMIT DASTARDLY DEEDS. What is it about this concept that the scum-bags of the world don't get?


On this date or a day previous, Goofy's Beer-Boozing losers sideswiped yet another Pizza Hut employee's vehicle as shown below (pic pending). We have a partial description of the hit-and-run drunk, but not (yet) a plate. A $500 reward is being offered -- a sum that exceeds the cost of repair. People are tired to the bone of this band of miserable Goddamned drunks, their proprietor and their landlord.

Since Cristina Dugoni has now publicly and legally acknowledged this website, she also, quite unwittingly, legally acknowledges being aware of the problems Goofy's creates for its neighbors as reported on this website. It is a FACT that no business located in the proximity of Goofy's can or will go unscathed or unmolested by this group. The legal question becomes, then: At what point does Cristina Dugoni, personally, and as a corporation, become a legally liable co-defendant in any lawsuit brought about which is intended to bring relief from Goofys to any or all surrounding businesses? We believe she can be held liable now, but thank Allah, we're not lawyers; we believe that if she cannot (yet) be held legally liable, she SHOULD be held legally liable. We can now prove that she is aware of the ongoing problems with Goofys (our reports on this website constitute no more than 2% of the total). We do not believe Dugoni has lifted one finger to minimize the damage and mayhem this business causes (if she had, there'd be results, but the establishment is as out of control as it ever was). We know that Dugoni recently VOLUNTARILY renewed the Goofys lease. So where does that leave her? In our minds, it leaves her LIABLE for the chaos, if not legally, then certainly morally. We don't CARE if we sound repetetive: You can put lipstick on a sow and call it Monique, but a Pig is still a Pig..

Goofys Hit and Run

We believe that there is hardly a day that goes by in which Goofy's employees or patrons do NOT cause or inflict SOME kind of physical damage upon their neighbors, be it Pizza Hut, or Pizza Hut's patrons or employees, or the cars in the lot to the south end of their building where they also illegally park (and then threaten the elderly owner with violence when he politely asks them to move). We believe that every. single. day., Goofys is responsible for either actual physical damage to its neighbors, or of simply causing its neighbors grief and heartache which they don't need and don't deserve. The above vehicle was, we believe, a 1975 model. It had survived a dozen owners, nearly 200,000 miles, had been parked in ten thousand parking spaces all across Seattle and many western states, and yet it didn't survive a month next to Goofy's Goddamned Road House Loser-Haven before it was crunched. The woman who owns this vehicle works HARD for Pizza Hut. It was difficult for her to afford this vehicle, even old and unattractive as it is. Yet it is all she has, and now it's been damaged at the hands of some of the most dishonorable, sleazy, disgusting, sneaky, utterly worthless criminal sons of bitches on God's Green Earth. Fuck Goofy's, it employees, it's manager, it's owner, its patrons and its landlord. We're sick to death of these bottom feeders and lower life-forms. These are genetic blanks in every sense of the word.

Continue to Page Two


"You can put lipstick on a sow and call it Monique,
...but a Pig is still a Pig".